<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Not So Great Thief by RoseyR</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23954974">The Not So Great Thief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyR/pseuds/RoseyR'>RoseyR</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Creatures &amp; Monsters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Barbarian Tweek Tweak, Blood, Break Up, Comedy, Craig Tucker Being An Asshole, Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak in Love, Drunkenness, Elves, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Fantasy, Humor, M/M, Magic, Monsters, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Ogres, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Romance, Sad Craig Tucker, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Stick of Truth AU, Thief Craig Tucker, Violence, Wizards, Wolves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:08:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23954974</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyR/pseuds/RoseyR</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Feldspar has been known for being the greatest thief alive, no one can match him, no one can capture him, and no one can stop this thief and his amazing talent for stealing from people right under their noses.</p>
<p>However, the thief will soon become not so great, especially after a messy breakup that has turned the once great thief into a drunken mess, who has a broken heart and a short fuse.</p>
<p>What will the young barbarian king do when he needs the thief's help in order to steal a medallion from the high elf priest for the wizard king?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Not So Great Thief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First off...I think this might be the longest one shot ever? Maybe? I don't know. I've written this in google docs, and all I know is that it's over a hundred pages, way more than I wanted it to be, but you know what? We're going with it because this took me so long to write, and I'm done. Lol. </p>
<p>But yeah, been wanting to write a stick of truth story again, especially with Craig as Feldspar and Tweek as a barbarian. So this is what I came up with. Sorry if it's very long, my ideas somehow made this long, especially when I'm literally writing this as I plan it out, so...yeah...hope you enjoy reading, folks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In a far away land was a kingdom, within the kingdom were many people, and among those people was a king and his knights, and next to the king and the knights was a young lad, hands bound behind his back, and a sack over his head. The people watched anxiously for the young man’s execution, most cheered, others booed at the young man, and a few even went out of their way to throw stones at him. The king stood there, grinning victoriously, the knights were quite pleased to have finally captured the criminal. As for the young man, no matter what he heard or what was being said about him, he just stood there, surprisingly calm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The king walked over and finally took off the sack off the young man’s head. The young man, surprisingly didn’t look scared, no fear shown in those blue eyes of his. He stood there, the wind blowing through the flaps of his hat and the black bangs that poked out of it. He looked around, noticing the noose that was behind him, along with the executioner, and the people cheering for his death. EVen with all of this chaos, the young man was very calm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feldspar,” the king said, grinning ear to ear, “you have committed quite a crime for the past few months. Stealing from me, as well as my people. You have caused problems in my kingdom, and have been nothing but a thorn in my sides for months now. Now that we have finally caught you after all this time, you are to be executed for your crimes. Have any last words before we hang you?” The king asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thief looked at him before he gave him a smirk, “wipe that grin off your face, fatso. So what if your knights finally caught me today? I’ll be getting out of here soon,” the thief said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The king chuckled, “amusing. You honestly think you can escape from this? We managed to take all of your weapons, even the ones hidden in your boots and sleeves. There is no escape, Feldspar, no one here is going to help you, and you are to die right here, in front of all these people you have troubled for the past few months. So while your confidence is quite admirable, you’ll soon find out why it’s a bad idea to steal from the king and his people,” the king then looked at the executioner and snapped his fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The executioner grabbed the noose that was behind the thief and looped it around the thief’s neck. The executioner tightened the noose, and the thief winced when he felt the scratchy texture of the rope touching his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tight? Good. You should have never stolen from me, Feldspar. I have a no thievery tolerance in this kingdom. You might have gotten away with it from other kingdoms and their weak minded kings, but I will not give you a second chance to redeem yourself. You are to die here and we will make sure your body is paraded in the most undignified way, just so your soul will be humiliated forever as your body rots away and your soul doomed forever,” the king said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thief stared at the king blankly before letting out a yawn, “wow...for a king that is said to be amazing, you sure talk way too much and your stories are so boring.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The king fumed, “aren’t you the least bit worried that you are going to die soon? Any regrets? Don’t you want to cry? Don’t you want to apologize, beg, and see if I might consider letting you go!?” The king exclaimed. The people went silent and stared at their king in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thief looked at the king before he smirked, “I won’t be dying today, dear king...in fact...I’ll be escaping in three...two...one,” the thief said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before anyone knew it, they all suddenly heard the sounds of horses. Everyone turned their heads and soon saw a hooded man riding a carriage pulled by two horses running their way. The hooded man stood up, took out a crossbow and aimed it towards where the king and the tied up thief was. The people panicked and quickly ran out of the way of the horses, not wanting to get trampled. The king paled and quickly turned towards the executioner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quickly, pull the lever!” The king ordered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as the executioner pulled the lever to drop the thief, the hooded man pulled the trigger on the crossbow, and the arrow managed to hit the rope, cutting the thief loose. The thief soon dropped to the ground and quickly stood up, he started running towards the carriage and was soon grabbed by the hooded man once they passed the king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop! Come back here!” The king demanded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thief stood up, looked back at the king, and revealed that his hands were freed, while also holding a small knife in his hands. “Hey Kingsly, next time, you should have checked the inside of my boots. You’ll never know if there was a hidden knife inside the soles!” The thief smirked, “and to all you lovely and stupid people, I, the great Feldspar, has once again fooled you all. I bid you adieu,” the thief then bowed and quickly sat down next to the hooded man. He then taunts the people even more by flipping them off as he and the hooded man rode off within the forest, never to be seen again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feldspar!” The king shouted at the top of his lungs.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Once Feldspar and his partner escaped the kingdom and were far away enough, Feldspar leaned back in his seat, chuckling to himself. His partner smiled, but was not as amused as he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Man, did you see fatso when you came? Priceless,” Feldspar said, “you did great, Crossbow. I knew I could rely on you,” Feldspar said before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his partner’s cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha...careful, Feldspar. I’m still driving the horses. Wouldn’t want to crash after escaping now, do we?” Feldspar’s partner said, “and you know you don’t have to call me Crossbow when we’re alone. It’s cringy. Can’t we just say our real names now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feldspar, whose real name was Craig Tucker, sighed as he crossed his arms and sat down. He looked at his partner, Crossbow, whose real name was Michael, a young man around his age, who was quite skilled with crossbows and escaping, and not only is he Feldspar’s partner in crime, but also his boyfriend of five years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not cringy. You know how hard it was to find a nickname for us when we’re off doing our missions?” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You came up with that name when you were ten, and then when we met, you decided to name me Crossbow because I was quite skilled with the crossbow. Nearly shot your eye when you tried to steal from me,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...but that was how we met, fell in love, and became the world’s famous thieving couple,” Craig said as he leaned against Michael’s arm. “The world now knows the name of Feldspar and Crossbow, the one who steals with a flick of his hands, and the one who has the skills of a god with his crossbow,” Craig said, “besides...since the world already knows our nicknames, we can’t really change it,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael sighed, “well I wish you had given me the option to make my own name when we started working together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We had that big robbery, you were taking too long to come up with something, and most of your past ideas were just...terrible,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And naming me Crossbow is the best you can do? Because I am good at a crossbow? You know, I am also good at other things. Why not Cook? The Rider? Or maybe now...The Escape Artist?” Michael said, “by the way...nice job getting captured.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig frowned, “it’s not my fault. Some kid decided to throw their banana peel on the floor when I was escaping. I didn’t think I’d actually slip on those things,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Then how come you stayed in jail and waited until your execution day for me to come and save you the last minute? We both know you could have easily escaped much earlier than that, and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw posters saying you’d be dying today,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I was doing most of the work for this job, and you were the one who simply came up with the idea to steal from that kingdom for a few months, so I thought you could take part in the action a tiny bit,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...You decided to get captured and didn’t even try to escape because you wanted me to save you the last minute,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled, “So what? It’s romantic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, this isn’t a date. When we’re working, we’re partners in crime. We’re lovers after we steal the gold and jewels...which remind me...did you get it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smirked. He lifted his cape and took out a small sack inside his pocket. He rummaged through the sack, revealing diamonds, rubies, and other precious jewels that originally belonged to the king. “To think, that fatso hid the jewels behind a portrait...of jewels. Wasn’t that hard to find,” Craig said, throwing the sack up in the air before catching it. “With this much...we’ll be living happily for awhile.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael smiled, “Well...if we keep getting jewels like that from other kingdoms, we’ll be rich. Richer than any king in this world. Hell...we might even end up being our own kings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled but leaned back, putting the sack back into his pocket, “nah...I don’t think I want to be king,” Craig said, “I think...when we save up enough money from all the jobs we do...I think...I want to retire from being a thief...and start a farm...with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...A farm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey...hear me out. Getting land is very hard, especially with today’s economy and society, so once we get enough money to buy our own land, we can get ourselves a nice little cottage, maybe some cattle and sheep we can use for meat, wool, and milk, sell it, save some for us to use, and just live the rest of our lives in a nice home, a forever home...you and me...and maybe a few dozen guinea pigs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guinea pigs?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I like guinea pigs. The first time I saw them, I fell in love with those little creatures,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t they rodents though?” Michael asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Technically...yes...but they’re much cleaner than rats...even though I do find a few rats to be cute,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael fell silent before he put on a smile, he looked at his lover before leaning against him a bit, “sure...I guess rodents are cute...but you are far cuter than any rodent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed as he leaned against his lover, “shut up. I’m not cute. Handsome, maybe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Handsome?” Michael chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled, “yes, I, the great Feldspar is the handsomest thief in all the lands...and you...the charming Crossbow...has the greatest mind I’ve ever seen, and I’m glad...we’ll be with each other for a long time...even when we retire from thievery and start that farm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Michael sighed, “don’t you think...farms are too small? Simple...a bit boring? Don’t you want anything...bigger for us in the future?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah. I like simple and boring things,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...does that mean I’m simple and boring?” Michael asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig looked at him before resting his head against Michael’s shoulder, “you...are far from simple and boring. You’re my partner, the mastermind with our plans, and...my handsome, charming, and brilliant boyfriend,” Craig leaned forward to press a kiss against Michael’s lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael looked at him before putting on a small smile, “shall we...pull over and find camp for the night...we could also...start celebrating today’s victory.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed as he looked at his lover, he then smiled as he looked around, “over there. Where that big tree is. I think it would be a perfect spot to spend the night...and celebrate.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael nodded and soon pulled the carriage to a stop. They then set up camp, finding wood for the fire, putting up their tents, and tying up their horses in a place where they can graze, but still be close enough for the two to see them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the camp was set up, Craig went over to Michael, leaned forward, and kissed him on the lips. Michael in return kissed Craig back, lifting the thief up and pushing him against the tree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone wants it rough tonight,” Craig blushed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael smiled before he pulled off Craig's hat. Michael then played with Craig’s black hair, “your hair is very smooth to the touch, almost silky in a way,” Michael then leaned forward to press a kiss on the strands he had in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed, “you like my hair that much?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It suits you. The black goes well with this beautiful night, especially the moon. The hair of a raven...but more elegant and beautiful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig snorted, “for someone who is not that romantic like me...you sure have a way with words. I think I’m swooning,” Craig teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael chuckled as he started removing the thief’s cape, “shall I swoon you some more, dear?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled, “yes…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two spend the rest of the night, their bodies connected and close. Craig had never felt happier than being with his boyfriend. For Craig, all the jewels and gold he has stolen will never be compared to the greatest treasure he had in his possession. The heart of the one person that has shown him true love and companionship. For Craig, he already has plans to spend a life with his lover, and he hoped that one day, once they retire, they can spend nights like this together, for as long as they live.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sadly, things were about to change for Feldspar. A change that will break his heart to a million pieces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Craig was resting for the night, he suddenly woke up when he heard something. Thanks to his life as a criminal, Craig had learned to always stay high alert, even when sleeping. After all, there were many times when other thieves and robbers tried to steal from them, and it seemed that night wasn’t any different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig opened one eye, and noticed a silhouette of someone rummaging through their bags where all the gold and jewels were. Craig frowned, but quietly took out his dagger from his pocket and waited. When the thief was close enough, Craig lunged for him, tackling him to the ground and pointed the dagger to the thief’s throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you actually thought you could steal from the great Feldspar, known for being a better thief, you must either be stupid or have a death wish,” Craig said as he pulled down the thief’s hood to reveal his face with the help of the moonlight. His heart dropped when he saw who it was, “...Michael? What are you doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Darn...I really thought that you’d be extra tired tonight and wouldn’t wake up, but I guess even after sex, you’re always on high alert.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....What?” Craig looked at him before he noticed the bag of jewels that Craig stole earlier, “...are you....stealing from me?” Craig asked. Craig then noticed that the carriage, now with only one horse, was standing a few feet away from them. “And you’re taking the carriage and...Maxwell? What are you doing? Where are you going? Why are you...taking our money?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Half of this gold and jewels are mind, you know. You wouldn’t have been able to steal any of this if it weren’t for me,” Michael said, “and as for why I’m stealing from you, and taking half of what belongs to me...well it’s simple,” Michael then surprised Craig by pushing him and was now hovering on top of him, “I...am splitting us up. I think it’s time I go solo now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Craig couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “but...we were going to spend our lives together. What about Feldspar and Crossbow? Craig and Michael? What about our plans for the future? The farm...cattle...the sheep...and g-guinea pigs?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Craig….that’s your dream, and I don’t want to live on a farm with a bunch of barn animals and stupid guinea pigs, I want a life of thrill and adventure,” Michael said, “hell, the only reason I stayed with you for this long was because I loved the thrill of stealing from people, and almost getting caught, it excites me...but then you had to ruin that when you started mentioning about farms and simple, boring life,” Michael sighed, “that’s just not me, Craig. Maybe you since obviously, you aren’t taking a life as a thief more seriously. I expected better from you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig felt betrayed, he felt like crying, “but I love you...I thought you love me...I thought we were doing this together! Was all of it a lie!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Course not, dear,” Michael said as he grab a strand of Craig’s hair, “I was honest about your hair...the black coloring reminds me of the night, and goes well with the moon,” Michael said, “and I’ll admit...you were a good fuck for awhile...but...I think now...it’s time we go our separate ways. We clearly have two different paths we want to live by,” Michael said. “It’s been fun and exciting, Craig, but hey...the next time the great Feldspar steals from a kingdom, all that gold and jewels will go to you, you won’t have to share, and...you can impress a lot of people with your handy escape work instead of having to rely on me to save you,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig glared at him, his blood boiled. Never in his life has he ever felt so betrayed, especially by the one and only person he fell in love with. The person he gave his heart to, the person he had slept with countless nights. The person he told everything to. The person...he trusted with all of his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Heartbroken, and betrayed, Craig wanted nothing more than to cut off the bastard’s head. “I’m going to kill you. No one...betrays me like this!” Craig pushed Michael off of him and started swiping in the air, too distraught and angry to focus on what he was doing. All he wanted was to cut Michael in his face, and just watch him bleed to death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig! Stop it!” Michael stepped back, using Craig’s uncoordinated slashing in the air to his advantage by easily dodging them as best as he could. Seeing how his ex wasn’t lighting up, determined to kill him, Michael quickly grabbed his crossbow from the satchel on his horse’s back, and aimed it at Craig. Without any hesitation, Michael shot Craig in the arm, causing the thief to fall to the ground, bleeding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A-ah! You..you fucking shot me!” Craig shouted, staring at the arrow in his arms. His entire arm went numb, and he was in too much pain to get up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, dear. Your arm will heal up soon. I did leave you with most of the medical supplies, so you’ll be fine. I’m also leaving you with Winter, so you won’t be completely alone. You’ll have your horse to be your friend now,” Michael said as he got on the carriage and grabbed the reins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael! Don’t you fucking dare!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been fun, Craig. The sex was great too, and I enjoyed our little talks, but now...I think I want to try thievery on my own. Let’s both hope that our paths never cross, otherwise...it would just be trouble for me,” Michael said. Michael then pulled the reins. “Goodbye Feldspar. I...no longer Crossbow, but will be called the Shadowman...bid you...adieu,” Michael then rode off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael!” Craig shouted as he slowly got up. He tried to follow him, but the blood loss was already kicking in, and Craig fell back down, hissing in pain. “Fuck...fuck…” Craig quickly rushed back to his bags, glad to see that Michael was telling the truth and left a good amount of medical supplies for him. Craig then agonizingly pulled the arrow out of his arm, letting out a heartfelt scream as he quickly cleaned his wound. Breathing heavily, Craig quickly bandaged his arm, and soon rested against the tree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig sat there, his arm still hurting, but it didn’t hurt as much as the pain in his heart. Craig felt tears in his eyes as his entire body began to tremble. Even if he was glad that Michael did in fact leave half of the gold and jewels with him, he didn’t care about any of it. The person he trusted with his life and heart, broke their promise just like that. The love that Craig gave, the moments he shared, it was now nothing but memories with no heart behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The once great Feldspar was now a heartbroken mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Fuck!” Craig screamed as tears fell from his eyes.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>There was a barbarian, skinny at first glance, but is actually quite strong, stronger than any other barbarian, and possibly stronger than an ogre or giant. The barbarian originally was part of the human faction when the humans were at war with the elves, but ever since the two factions came together to defeat a few of their common enemies, specifically kingdoms from other lands that wanted to take over their land, they were at peace. All the humans, even the elves, all got their own land and expanded. For the barbarian, he and his people now owned a large and beautiful land that was granted to them by the wizard king, where they prosper and made a life for themselves. The young barbarian, thanks to his guidance and strength, became king of the barbarians, and life was peaceful for everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Until now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry...you want to do what!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like I said, Tweek. I need you and the barbarians to move from your land, and let me build my super weapon,” The wizard king, also known as Cartman, said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The barbarian, known as Tweek, stood there, dumbfounded at what he was hearing, “but...why? You do remember that we’re at peace with the elves, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know...we’re at peace with the elves...and we both now share large amount of land together,” Cartan said, “but that doesn’t mean I trust the king of elves. That stupid high priest and his stupid might than thou attitude. I’ll show him once I make my super weapon, which will soak him and his entire kingdom, they’ll be so wet from all the dirty water, it’ll even soak right through their underpants,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious...please tell me you’re not serious...he’s not serious, is he, princess Kenny!?” Tweek asked as he stared at the princess, who stood by the king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The princess shrugged her arms before muffling, which translated to, “I tried tell him that this was a stupid idea, but he wasn’t going to listen, so...yeah...sucks to be you, barbarian.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek groaned as he pulled at his hair, he couldn’t just go back to his people and tell them that they were forced to move because the wizard king wanted to pull a prank on the high elf priest. That would just make everyone sad and Tweek would be ashamed for not trying harder to stop the wizard king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, you can’t relocate us. Our crops are finally growing, and we’re getting ready for harvest! If we move, we’ll lose all of our crops, and we won’t be able to grow new ones in time for winter!” Tweek begged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well sorry, barbarian, but your land is the perfect firing location where I can make my super weapon. It’ll shoot straight at the kingdom if I built it there,” the wizard king said, “and if you ever need supplies for the winter, I’ll be more that kind to offer you food, so I don’t see the problem,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing the king, Tweek can tell that when Cartman was going to offer the barbarians food for the winter, it would most likely be scraps that the king couldn’t finish eating or refused to eat. “Even so...your highness...where are we supposed to relocate too? We spent years making our land as beautiful as we could!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I thought you and your barbarians can simply live in the Foggy Swamps! You have said your people would like a place to swim, didn’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....The Foggy Swamps are infested with parasites...and it’s cursed with a siren that lures their victims by singing at night,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Okay...well a solution to that would be that you wear earplugs, don’t swim in the water, and...maybe start wearing shirts,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gah! This isn’t what we want, your highness! We can’t just give you our land!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek...the human faction maybe no more and you have your land and have become king there...but don’t forget...it was I who gave you that land to begin with, and with my magic...I can easily take it back,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yes...your highness...but...is there really no other way? Can’t you get back at the high priest a different way than..making me and my people move to another land just so you can make a weapon to blast dirty water at the elf kingdom?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Maybe there is another way,” Cartman said. The king stood up and walked over to the window, all dramatic like. Tweek just stood there, staring at him in confusion. “You’ve heard of this...Feldspar fellow, yes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes...I’ve heard about him and the kingdoms he has stolen. What about him?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you see...I am in need of his mastery skills. Feldspar is known to be a great thief, better than any common thief in the lands. His skills would be perfect for what I’m planning.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which is?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To steal the high elf priest’s medallion,” Cartman smirked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But...didn’t the priest get that medallion from his mother?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep. Which is why I want to steal it and make that priest angry,” Cartman chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh boy,” the princess sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So wait...you want to use Feldspar to steal the priest’s medallion...and that’s it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. If I want to get back at that stupid elf, what better way than to simply steal the one thing that’s so important and precious to him. He’ll lose his shit and he’ll have to come here and beg for his stupid medallion back, and he’ll probably do whatever I say! It’ll be perfect!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More like stupid. What would happen if the elf priest gets so angry that he’ll want to wage war against us again?” Princess Kenny said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s right! Stealing something as important as a gift from a mother would make anyone angry enough to wage war on someone, specifically the person who stole it!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, we all know that Kyle is too much of a pussy to want to start another war, especially since everyone is so happy and shit. He’ll never start a war that will make his people sad, so it’ll be fine,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed, “okay...so...if you get that Feldspar guy, you’ll leave my land alone?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, I’m not getting him, you are,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What!? I don’t even know him, let alone where he is! How the fuck am I supposed to find him?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How should I know? That’s your job,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well how am I supposed to find Feldspar if you don’t even know!?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman sighed before he turned towards princess Kenny, “Kenny? Any ideas?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Well...I have heard from the grapevine that the thief was found somewhere nearby, though no one has taken him in or reported him. My best guest is to try asking around Token’s tavern, I’m sure he might know a thing or two on the whereabouts of Feldspar,” princess Kenny said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you go. Go to Token’s tavern, find info on where Feldspar is, and then once your find him, you must bring him here, then I will have him go and steal the medallion from that stupid elf king,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...So...if I find Feldspar and bring him here...you promise to leave my land alone?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. I promise,” Cartman said, “would I ever lie to you, Tweek?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Well…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was a rhetorical question. Now go and find me Feldspar!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed as he bowed down, “yes, your highness,” Tweek said. He then left to find the thief. “...Oh god...this is too much pressure,” Tweek groaned as he started making his way to Token’s tavern.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>The trip to the tavern was long and tiring, but Tweek managed to reach the tavern on horseback. Once Tweek tied up his horse, he headed inside the tavern. Tweek looked around the tavern, not many patrons that day, just a few folk drinking, singing, and chatting among themselves. Tweek also noticed a young man, surrounded by empty mugs. The young man was sleeping at the bar, grumbling to himself, and overall looked like a mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek paid no mind to the obviously drunk man, and headed over to the bar to speak to the owner, Token. Token, who once fought in the war with Tweek when the human faction and elf faction were still enemies, now owned a small little tavern where travelers of all kinds came to either take a break from adventuring, or even spend a night if there were any available rooms. Tweek has been close friends with Token ever since the battle against the gnome kingdom, to which Tweek never wanted to think about ever again. Tweek still hasn’t recovered his missing underpants from those blasted gnomes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Token,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek, my man. How goes it with the barbarian tribe?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been fine up till now,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? What happened?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The wizard king is what happened,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is he planning now?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He wants to use my land to pull another prank on the elf kingdom. It involves creating a super weapon that would blast water towards the kingdom, soaking everyone,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s dumb,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, right!?” Tweek exclaimed, “anyways, I managed to convince Cartman to not go with that plan if I help him find someone,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I need to find the world’s greatest thief, Feldspar, but finding him isn’t going to be easy since I heard the guy usually stays hidden when he’s not stealing from people,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait...you’re looking for Feldspar?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Tweek sighed, “but I don’t know where he is or how to find him,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I may know where he is,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You do!? Where?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Token gesture towards the drunk man that Tweek noticed earlier, “he’s right there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The drunk man snoozed away, unaware of the two or anyone for that matter. He was too out of it to notice anyone, let alone the two staring at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...That’s...Feldspar?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep...the great Feldspar...or at least...the former shell of him,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck happened to him!?” Tweek asked. He does not look like the confident and charming thief that Tweek has heard of from many stories about him, he looked like the complete opposite.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, the guy came in a few weeks ago, had a wounded arm that he didn’t clean properly, pushed a sack of gold coins my way, and asked me for beer and a room. Hasn’t left since. I did offer to clean his wound, but he refused, saying he’d rather die from an infection than live a painful and miserable life. I...ended up cleaning it for him though since I felt bad for the guy, but man...he’s been so depressing, I’m kinda losing customers here, that and because he’s been kinda threatening anyone that even tries to talk to him or get near him,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Token noticed how a man was approaching the sleeping thief, probably to grab the bag of gold coins that were left unattended on the bar. Token made no move to stop the man, but instead, gesture Tweek to look. The two watched as the man was about to reach for the bag, but suddenly, the man nearly had his hand cut off when a dagger suddenly appeared and was stabbed at the bar, inches away from the man’s hand, but was in front of the bag. The drunk thief lifted his head and angrily glared at the man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi...don’t you fucking think about trying to steal from me. I already got shit stolen from me once, and I ain’t letting that happen again. This gold ain’t for you, but for the beer I’m ordering, so keep your disgusting hands to yourself if you still want them attached to you, asshole,” the drunk thief said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man trembled in fear and quickly rushed back towards his friends, who promptly laughed at him, but quickly went silent when the drunk thief glared at them. Once it was quiet, the drunk thief turned his head back, picked up full mug of beer, drank the entire contents, even letting some of the beer spill on himself, and then promptly banged his head on the counter, and fell back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I see what you mean now,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even for a drunk, he’s still quick with those hands. I nearly got my own hands cut off when all I was doing was giving him a refill. It frightens me how I ended up getting used to it after the fourth day of him being here,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God...what happened to him?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I tried asking him on the second day, but he just grumbled to himself, told me to just get him beer, and what little info I managed to get from him, it was just him ranting and cursing at someone. Even when I asked him what happened to his arm, he just went silent and looked like he was ready to cry,” Token said. “Whatever happened to him must have been really bad, I’ve never seen a man this broken down in all my life, and I even started to refuse his money since he keeps giving me all he has for the room, meals, and beer. I feel sorry for the guy, and I even felt bad for even thinking of calling the authorities when he showed up,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were planning to turn him in?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well yeah, the guy is on nearly every kingdom’s wanted list. Capturing him meant you’d be living wealthily for months,” Token said, “not that I needed it, but still...it would be nice to get my girlfriend a few expensive gifts more often,” Token said. “However, when I came over to attain him, he simply looked at me, knew what I was planning, and did the most outrageous thing I’ve ever seen,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He offered his hands to me. The poor bastard said he didn’t care if he was sent to jail or executed the same day, he’d rather die than live such a painful and miserable life. I ended up not reporting him, I just felt so sorry for him, I even went out of my way by lying to anyone that is looking for him and wanting to get the reward money by capturing him,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s kind of your, Token,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah well...even though the guy has been drinking nonstop, scaring my customers, and has been a bit aggressive here and there, he’s still paying me for the beer and room, even when I refused to accept after his fifth stay here. Whatever happened to him, he had it rough,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can tell…” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek...I hope whatever you’re planning to do with him for Cartman, it isn’t going to get him arrested. Even though he’s a thief...I don’t think a man as sad as him deserves anymore problems,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...luckily for him, I’m actually here to offer him a job,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well good luck trying to convince him to do anything. I tried convincing him to take a walk since he’s been sitting there all day and only gets up to head to his room when the bar is closed, but he would tell me to shut up and just sit there, refusing to move,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I’ll see what I can do, for I am a barbarian, and we barbarians never give up,” Tweek sighed as he walked over to the drunk thief. Tweek was a bit hesitant since he remembered the quick knife work the thief did earlier, and Tweek didn’t want to lose a hand, so when he approached the thief, he was a good distance away from him, but was still close enough to talk to him. “Excuse me!” Tweek said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-huh?” Feldspar lifted his head before it went back down and he fell back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Tweek decided to be louder this time, while also getting closer to the thief’s ear. “Excuse me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-huh!?” Feldspar jumped in his seat, took out his dagger, and looked around, panicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh…” the great Feldspar grabbed his pounding head, looking pissed that his nap was interrupted, “who the fuck are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek stood up straight and spoke nervously, “I am Tweek Tweak, king of the barbarians, and I’m here to request your assistance,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Assistance? I don’t know who you’re looking for, but I ain’t them,” the thief said as he laid his head back down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But...aren’t you…” Tweek looked around, making sure no one was listening, he leaned forward to speak softly, “aren’t you the great Feldspar?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who? I can’t hear you,” the thief said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek cleared his throat, “You’re Feldspar, right?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, I have no idea who that is. You got the wrong guy,” the drunk thief said, he then went on to ignore the barbarian and decided to head back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Already annoyed, Tweek glared at the thief, knowing full well that he is indeed Feldspar, the thief he was looking for, and the only key to saving his land for his people. “You are definitely Feldspar! I know you are! Here, I even have your wanted poster! You look exactly like the man on this poster! You definitely are Feldspar!” Tweek exclaimed, louder than he anticipated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek!” Token exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Tweek asked, a bit angry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I said I was hiding Feldspar, I also meant not saying his name out loud in front of the other customers,” Token sighed. “Especially since we have bounty hunters that usually stop by every now and then,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek looked around and noticed that every patron in the bar were now looking at Feldspar, some even stood up and looking ready to take action, now that they know that the great Feldspar was sitting right there, just waiting to be taken. “Oops.” Tweek muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Tweek knew it, a man suddenly lunged for Feldspar, seeing how he was asleep, but what none of them expected was for the thief to suddenly jump from his seat, causing the man to fall over the bar, missing Feldspar entirely. Feldspar stood on the bar, swaying a tiny bit, glared at the barbarian before he turned his attention to the other patrons.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For fuck sake, can’t a guy just drink and wallow in misery in peace?” Feldspar sighed as he took out his dagger and began to fight the next man trying to lunge for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Christ!” Tweek exclaimed, he knew he couldn’t let Feldspar get captured, or else his people were doomed. So, Tweek began to fight against the bounty hunters, protecting Feldspar as best as he could. “Don’t worry, I’ll save you!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who the fuck are you?” Feldspar sighed, “and also, wasn’t this your fault since you said my name out loud to begin with?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nnngg!” Tweek punched a man in the face and quickly threw another one across the room, “my name is Tweek Tweak, I was ordered by the wizard king, Cartman, to come and bring you to him. We are in need of your services,” Tweek explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Services?” Feldspar asked, he kicked a man in the face, then used a dagger and threw it at another man running at him, causing the man to get his shirt pinned to the wall. “Last time I checked, nobody wants to hire a thief, let alone someone like me,” Feldspar said as he kicked another hunter, “I do have a well-known reputation you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I know,” Tweek grabbed two hunters and bonked their heads together, causing them to go down, “which is why I came here to ask for you help! We need your skills for an important job!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do I know you’re telling the truth and aren’t actually here to send me to prison?” Feldspar asked. He jumped and kicked another hunter, knocking him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please! If you just come with me to see the wizard king, you’ll know I’m telling the truth! Lives and homes are on the line here!” Tweek said as he punched another man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Both of you, look out behind you!” Token exclaimed, he was also helping fight back the hunters that were after Feldspar, he already managed to knock out two hunters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the last two patrons were running towards them, Tweek and Feldspar quickly knocked out the two that were about to get them from behind. The two looked at each other, somewhat thankful that the other had their back, but then went back to business.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please...it’s urgent,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Oh who fucking cares? Your king probably wants me dead...and you know what? I’d be more than happy to be killed! I’ll even go with you to my execution, or better yet? I’ll go find a bridge and jump right off of it, make it easier for you,” Feldspar said before going back to sit down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, Feldspar, I really am here to take you to see Cartman so you can do a simple job for him. I really need you to come with me,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, you can’t come here with your shirtless self and beg me to do something I obviously don’t want to do. You already caused me a lot of problems today, and right now, I don’t want to deal with any of your shit. Now please leave me the fuck alone and let me drown my sorrows with beer in peace. And if you are actually here to get me killed, then you can wait until I have a few more beers. I’m planning to kill myself later this afternoon anyways since it’s obvious that I can’t be here for much long since you ended up revealing who I am to these fuckers,” Feldspar said, gesturing to the men who were still alive. A few of them even escape, probably to tell others.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek stared at the thief, already angry. “Gah! He’s impossible! What the fuck am I supposed to do!? If I don’t take him with me, Cartman will destroy my land with his stupid weapon, and my people will lose our crops and homes,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Wait here for a minute,” Token said. Token grabbed a pitcher and walked over to the thief, when the thief looked up, Token smashed his head with the pitcher, knocking the thief out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“T-Token!?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s the maximum weight you’re able to lift for the longest time?” Token asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um...not sure...I’d say two giant bags of bricks for maybe an hour?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good, then he’ll be easy for a strong guy like you,” Token said. “Wait here while I get some rope, make it easier for you to carry him,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek then realized what Token was doing, “thank you, Token,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t thank me, with him gone, I won’t have to restock my supplies so much...nor will I have to worry about the smell he’s giving off,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek couldn’t help but take a whiff of the thief and nearly gagged at the putrid smell coming off of him. No wonder Tweek smelled something bad when he came inside. “Oh god…” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah..you might want to take him to the springs before you plan on taking him to see Cartman...you know...for the sake of your nose,” Token said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got it,” Tweek said. Tweek sighed as he stared at the unconscious thief, he still couldn’t believe that the great Feldspar he heard stories about was laying right there in front of him, a complete mess. “God...this mission is going to be even harder than I thought,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>As Tweek carried the unconscious Feldspar outside, he was about to put him on his horse, however, before Tweek could leave, another horse that was tied next to his started neighing loudly, stomping their feet, and looking at the unconscious thief. Confused, Tweek walked over to the horse, trying his best to calm it down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey hey, easy there. What’s wrong?” Tweek asked as he grabbed the horse’s reins and tried to stop it from moving. Seeing how the horse was looking at the thief, almost worried for him, Tweek realized that this must be Feldspar’s horse. “Is that your owner? Are you worried that I’m taking him away?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The horse blew some air into Tweek’s face through his nose, and kept swaying their head and stomping their foot. The horse then walked over and tried to reach for the thief, but Tweek quickly pulled him back and patted the side of its body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy there. Okay okay, you can come along too,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The horse kept stomping its foot, looking at the unconscious man expectantly. Tweek realized that the horse wanted Feldspar to be riding it, and Tweek couldn’t help but smile by how much love the horse has for its master.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For someone who’s a mess, he must have taken good care of your if you’re still this attached to him,” Tweek sighed, “alright, he can ride on you, but you better now escape with him on you,” Tweek said as he walked over to his own horse, picked up the unconscious thief, and carefully placed him on top of the other horse. The horse neighed happily and stomped their feet, which caused a bag that was tied to the side of the horse to suddenly fall off, spilling some of the contents inside. “Crap,” Tweek said as he rushed over to pick up the bag. As he was picking it up, and putting some of the items back inside, he stopped when he noticed the initials that were printed on the bag. “C.T. C.T? Did he steal this bag from someone named C.T?” Tweek wondered. Tweek continued picking up a few more items until he picked up what appeared to be a wanted poster. “Huh...guess he also has one of these for himself. He must be a narcissist or something,” Tweek sighed as he flipped the poster over to see the image. He froze when he saw two people on the poster. On the left was Feldspar himself, and on the right was another man that Tweek doesn’t know. The man on the right had their hood up, so Tweek couldn’t actually see his face, however, the name that was on the poster said that the man was called Crossbow. “Crossbow...oh...right...I remember that Feldspar had a partner during these crimes, this Crossbow fellow doesn’t show up that much, it’s usually Feldspar most of the time,” Tweek muttered. As Tweek looked at the poster, he noticed how there were a few hearts and writing on it, most likely done by Feldspar. “Huh...well whoever you are, Crossbow, seems Feldspar has taken a liking to you,” Tweek said, noticing a big heart next to the hooded man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nnnngg….fucking...bastard….I’ll fucking kill...you,” Tweek looked over only to see Feldspar muttering in his sleep. Tweek knew he needed to get Feldspar to the king before he woke up, after all, Tweek has heard that Feldspar can escape from anything, even from being tied up by rope. “Sorry for this, but this is for the sake of my people,” Tweek said. Tweek put the items back into the bag and tied the bag securely onto Feldspar’s horse. Tweek then got on his own horse, made sure the other horse’s reins were connected to his horse’s reins, and then started riding off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Tweek was heading back to the wizard king’s castle, he looked back at the unconscious thief. Tweek sighed as he felt pity for the thief, and wondered what had happened to him. For Tweek, he has heard stories of the great Feldspar, how he stole from countless kingdoms, fought fifty thieves on his own, even stolen from a fierce dragon. So how did a man that was depicted to be so brave and amazing...end up looking like a drunk that seems not entirely there in the head. Tweek suddenly thought about the poster of Feldspar and his partner, now that Tweek thought about it, what happened to the partner?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I knew where this Crossbow fella is, maybe he can explain to me why you look like a sad sack of potatoes,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Cross...bow...Crossbow….Michael!” Feldspar shouted, waking up and promptly falling off his horse. “Ow! Fuck,” Feldspar cursed as he hit his head on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christ!” Tweek exclaimed as he stopped his horse and quickly got off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh? Where am I? Who the fuck are you!?” Feldspar exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy there, it’s me, Tweek. I’m the barbarian from the bar?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Oh...you,” Feldspar sighed as he looked down, “oh...are you taking me to my execution already? Couldn’t you have waited until I had a few more pints?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek frowned, “for the last time, I’m here to take you to the king since he has a job for you, I’m not here to kill you,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Feldspar asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Tweek gritted his teeth, “look, I really need your help since my land and my people are in danger if I don’t bring you to see the king. Can you please cooperate with me and help me out here?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why should I? Everything is meaningless in the end. Nothing matters, and the world can just explode already,” Feldspar then laid on the ground, not even trying to escape as Tweek thought he would. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek just stood there, dumbfounded, but soon got very angry at how the thief was behaving. “Look, I have no idea what your deal is, but if you’re going to be like that, maybe I should go and find your partner, Crossbow, and ask him to sort you out or something,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feldspar froze and he soon sat up. He was silent as his head was down. Tweek stared at him for a second, wondering what he was doing, but suddenly, Feldspar stood up, and the ropes that tied up the thief fell to the ground, and Feldspar stood there, a dagger in his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t. You. Fucking. Say. That name!” Feldspar yelled as he lunged at the barbarian with the dagger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christ!” Tweek exclaimed as he barely dodged the dagger from hitting him. Tweek kept dodging and fighting back as the thief kept swiping the dagger, anger in his eyes. Tweek wasn’t sure if it was the effects of the alcohol or if it was something else. All Tweek knew that if he didn't come up with something, he was a dead man. “Christ, why couldn’t I have been born with fast feet instead of strength!?” Tweek complained as he kept dodging and dodging, getting a few hits on the arm and sides of his stomach, but was still able to move and run. That was when Tweek had an idea, he looked over at Feldspar’s horse and knew that if he couldn’t calm Feldspar down, he might as well make him by using the one thing that he must care for. Tweek rushed over to the horse and swiftly picked the horse up, causing Feldspar to stop his rampage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey hey hey! Put Winter down, asshole,” Feldspar said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not until you put the dagger away!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean it, put her down, now! You’re going to break her legs if you drop her all of a sudden!” Feldspar said, Tweek can see the worry in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then put the dagger down and listen to me,” Tweek said, “otherwise...I’ll...I’ll...I’ll throw your horse over a cliff...or...let it get eaten by dire wolves!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feldspar froze and glared at him, “you wouldn’t dare,” Feldspar said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m desperate to save my people, and right now...I’m fucking willing to kill a horse if you don’t put the fucking dagger down!” Tweek exclaimed, his heart was pounding so much in his chest, he just hope the thief was drunk enough to not see through his bluff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Feldspar stared at the barbarian, still a bit unwell from all the alcohol, but can see that the barbarian meant business. So reluctantly, Feldspar put the dagger away, “fine. Now please...put my horse down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek nodded and carefully placed the horse down, “sorry,” Tweek whispered to the horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the horse was down, Feldspar ran over to it and gave it a hug, “did that mean barbarian almost hurt you, girl? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you with all my life. You’re the only one that understands me and won’t leave me in the middle of the night, and I bet your sister wouldn’t have left if he didn’t steal her from us,” Feldspar said as he gushes over his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a strange sight that Tweek has ever seen, but right now, he had business with the thief. “Listen, I know we got on the wrong foot here, but please, for the sake of barbarians, won’t you please help me by coming with me to see the king?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why should I? Sorry, but I don’t work with barbarians, especially those who kidnapped me, manhandled my horse, and doesn’t even bother to wear a fucking shirt when the weather is fucking cold,” Feldspar said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek frowned, “you gave me no choice. Here you are, being all drunk and acting like a toddler having a tantrum, when all I want is to save my people by having the great Feldspar known across the land to help me and the wizard king to steal a medallion from the high elf priest,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....You want me to do what?” Feldspar said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek groaned, “for the last fucking time! I’m here to offer you a job! A job that requires you to steal a stupid medallion from the elf king! Got it!? Is that loud and clear for you!? Can your thick head understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?” Tweek was already done with this entire thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hold up, the wizard king wants me to steal a medallion from the high elf priest in the elf kingdom? Which is surrounded by thousands of elves who all have poisonous and sharp arrows ready at hand?” Feldspar said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be out of your fucking mind,” Feldspar said. He grabbed his horse’s reins and started walking away, “I’m out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait! Please! Only you can steal the medallion! You’re the great Feldspar after all!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was the great Feldspar! Now, I’m just Feldspar who wants to go back to that tavern and drink, I’m just Feldspar who would be happy to die right now, I’m just Feldspar who...who…” Feldspar sighed, “you know what? Michael was right, saying my nickname is starting to get cringy...that fucking bastard,” Feldspar said. “Well fine Michael! If you think my nickname that I made up since I was ten is so fucking cringy! I’ll just go by my real name! Not like it matters anymore! Just like how I never mattered to you! So I don’t care if the world knows my real name! You hear that world! It is I, Craig fucking Tucker! Craig Tucker, also known as Feldspar! I’ll shout my real name for the entire world to hear! I don’t even care if they use my real name for the grave I’ll be buried in!” Feldspar exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek wasn’t sure if Feldspar was still drunk, or if there was something going on here, but now...it seems that Feldspar’s real name is Craig Tucker. That explains the initials on the bag Tweek saw earlier. “Um...so...your name is...Craig?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig sighed as he glared at the barbarian, “yes. Now that Feldspar is dead, I might as well just go with my real name, and that asshole can go choke on a dick,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you...are you talking about Crossbow?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig glared at him, “don’t you fucking say that name! I don’t want to hear his name! Hell, I don’t even want you speaking of his nickname! I don’t want to hear anything about that fucking traitor!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“T-traitor? What happened?” Tweek asked. He thought that maybe if he talked it out with Craig, Craig might feel better and Tweek might be able to help the thief with whatever problem he was facing that was causing him to behave like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig huffed, “I don’t want to talk about it, hell, I don’t want to talk about him,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, it might make you feel better,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek knew that getting any info out of him was going to be hard, so he decided to try something that he knew would get Craig to say something. “Oh...well if you’re not going to say anything...maybe I should find Crossbow and ask him directly about what happened between you two. I bet he’ll tell me the truth, and would be more than willing to share with me what you might have done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What I did!?” Craig walked over to the barbarian, now furious, “I did nothing but love that bastard for five years! Five years! And you know what he does? Steals half of my shit in the middle of the night, then shoots me in the arm with his crossbow! I nearly died from blood loss!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek’s eyes widened, “he...did that?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes! He fucking did! That bastard,” Craig sighed as he just sat down on the ground, now looking more sad than angry. “....All I ever did was show him how much I love him...and then...he just...decides he didn’t want to be with me...that stealing from people was more exciting than our future together. All I wanted was to settle down with him someday once we had enough money to keep us happy, I wanted to retire from a life of crime, stop being chased all the time, and stopped nearly dying. I wanted to retire from being Feldspar the great thief to...just being...Craig Tucker...a normal man with a loving husband...but no...I guess I’m asking for too much...and now...I’m alone...and I have no one that cares about me...aside from Winter there,” Craig said. The horse stomped its foot as he lowered its head for its master to pet, “....I have nothing. My family is gone, Michael left me, along with my other horse, I don’t feel like stealing anything anymore...and I just want the pain in my heart to go away already. I’m done. I’m done being treated like trash, and I’m done dealing with assholes like him! I’d rather be dead than having to know that I’m not good enough for this world, that I can’t be loved!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek stared at him, feeling pity. Tweek wasn’t sure what he was going to do to help him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, Tweek remembered how the younger females in his tribe would sometimes come to him to talk about their love troubles. Though Tweek wasn’t an expert on the matters of love, let alone teenage love, he tried his best to console them. Maybe if he used those tactics on Craig here, he’d be able to get him to feel better, and they can finally leave to see the wizard king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s not your fault, Craig, and don’t say such things! I’m sure you’ll find another fellow that will love you unconditionally,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig frowned, “I don’t want another guy to date. The only man I trusted with my heart was Crossbow, and look where I ended up,” Craig sighed, “no man can make me feel the same way I felt for him,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed, “Craig, I get that you believed that this Crossbow fella was your soulmate, but...sometimes...relationships aren’t actually how you expect them. Sure, you wish you can have a relationship where it was perfect and ideal, but not all relationships are like that,” Tweek said. “So sometimes...the guy you think is amazing...might not actually be amazing, but that doesn’t mean the perfect guy for you isn’t out there. You just have to keep looking for them,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the last time, I don’t want to look for another guy! I don’t want to be with any guy, and I especially don’t want to be with that fucking traitor! So just leave me be already!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed and looked up, noticing that he needed to get Craig to the wizard king before the wizard king decided to go with his other plan. “Look, I’m in a hurry here, and I want to save my people’s land, so how about I offer you a deal? If you come with me, tell the king you’re Feldspar and agree to steal the medallion for him, I’ll pay you immensely,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need gold, and even if I did, I’m Feldspar, I can easily steal that gold from under your nose,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nnngg! Then what is it that you want!? Food? Fame? Wealth? Land!?” Tweek was going to lose his mind if he can’t convince Craig to come with him willingly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Did you say...land?” Craig asked. That seemed to get the thief’s attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yes! I can give you land if you come with me to see the king,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...How big is this...land?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um...not fully sure. You see...after the war ended between humans and elves, us barbarians were given plentiful land to expand and grow families. We even have lands we don’t really necessarily need and was thinking of selling them for profit or something, b-but I can give you some land, big enough to build a home on,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it...big enough for a farm? With cattle, sheep, and guinea pigs?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“G-guinea pigs? Um...yeah...sure. Hell, I can probably provide you with cattle and sheep...not sure about the guinea pigs...might have to search around for them, but yes, I can give you the land and everything you need for a farm if that is what you desire,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Hm…” Though Craig initially wanted a farm so he could spend the rest of his days with Michael, he now thought it would be the only thing to help Craig move on and forget about the pain in his heart. Not only that, but if Michael knew about Craig’s farm and how cozy and happy he was, the bastard might come over and try to convince Craig to let him stay for the night. After all, sleeping in tents, especially in the cold seasons wasn’t ideal, and Craig would be petty and just tell the bastard to fuck off, and that he’d kill him if he even tries to sleep on his land, and living the dream that he wanted and would have shared if his ex didn’t betray him. It was perfect. “You got it,” Craig grinned, “If I get my farm...it’ll teach that bastard for stabbing me in the back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Technically...he shot an arrow at your arm, so…” Craig glared at him, “...sorry...right...not the time,” Tweek cleared his throat as he stood up straight, “so...we have a deal? Will you come with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Fine, but you better keep your end of the bargain when this is over, barbarian, otherwise...your shirtless body will be losing a head,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you keep pointing out that I’m not wearing a shirt? Barbarians don’t wear shirts, okay!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yet they wear pants?” Craig muttered as he got on his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek blushed, “it’s...it’s...it’s a whole complicated system, okay!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it now?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh! Just shut up and follow me, and for the love of god, please sober up before we meet the king. I don’t want him to know you’ve been drinking so much,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, I’m Feldspar, the thief with a lot of charisma and charm. Even when I’m drunk, I can easily…” Craig suddenly felt sick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...You okay?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...um...give me a minute,” Craig quickly jumped off his horse and rushed towards a nearby bush, there he proceeded to throw up. Guess all that alcohol finally caught up to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed as he stared at him, “this is going to be a long fucking day.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>After a short break, mostly to help Craig sober up enough to meet with the wizard king, the two traveled back to Cartman’s castle together. Once there, Tweek and Craig headed inside where they were greeted by the young paladin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Halt! Who goes there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Butters, it’s me,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Hya Tweek,” Butters smiled, he then noticed Craig, “who’s he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh...he’s Feldspar, the-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The great and notorious thief that is known across the lands and seas!? The thief who once took down fifty men with a single dagger? The one who is wanted by ten kingdoms from the south, east, west, and north!?” Butters exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig suddenly butts in, “yep, that’s me. The great and amazing Feldspar. At your service,” Craig said with a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek stared at him before rolling his eyes. He couldn’t believe how obnoxious the thief was being now, and Tweek couldn’t help but want to point out the fact that the thief spent fifteen minutes throwing up all the alcohol he had earlier. Stil, Tweek kept his mouth shut and nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, this is Feldspar, I’ve brought him like the king requested. Can you please just tell him we’re here,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On it!” Butters said as he headed inside the throne room to tell the king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Butters was gone and the two were alone, Tweek turned towards Craig and placed his hands on Craig’s shoulder, “okay, look. I’ll do most of the talking, you just nod your head to agree with me, and for the love of god, you better hope you’re sober enough,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, I’m great. Fantastic. One hundred percent,” Craig said, “...but you think I can just...take a nap on the floor for a few seconds? I feel...really dizzy and would like to rest my eyes,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Tweek smacked the side of Craig’s face, prompting the thief to open his eyes before he could close them, “no sleeping. You are to stay awake, look presentable to the king,” Tweek said as he adjusted the thief’s cape, “and most of all...don’t make me look like a fool. If the king saw how you acted earlier, I’ll be dead, so stay serious,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Calm down, barbarian boy. I’ll be serious, I’ll listen to whatever crap you have to say, and I’ll make sure your land is safe and what not. Then I’ll head on my way to steal those earrings for your king,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Medallion,” Tweek sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right right...medallion,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters soon came back, “the king is ready to see you two,” Butters said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Tweek sighed, he looked at Craig, “ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Craig sighed. He then started heading inside, and Tweek quickly followed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once inside the throne room, the two saw the king sitting on his throne. Tweek nervously walked ahead in front of Craig so he could speak with the king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your highness, I have brought you Feldspar as-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pfff…ha ha ha ha!’ Tweek froze when he looked back and saw Craig laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek quickly looked at the king before he walked back over to Craig and shut his mouth, “what are you doing!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, it’s just...what the fuck is that on his chin? Is he trying to grow a beard? Why is it growing like that? None of the hairs are even, it almost looks like he took the fur from a dog and glued it to his chin,” Craig snickered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek stared at him before looking back at the king, noticing the facial hair, Tweek could actually see it, and he was about to laugh too, but remembered where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. “Shut up and be serious! This is important!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is everything okay over there?” Cartman asked, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh..yes...we uh...we just remembered something...funny...with a dog...and glue,” Tweek cleared his throat, “a-anyways, I have brought you Feldspar as promised,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah...so this is the great Feldspar. The most skilled thief among the lands, said to have taken down fifty men with a single dagger, and is known for being-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah yeah, we know. He’s great, he’s better than any common thief that’s out there. I really don’t have time for this,” Tweek sighed, already getting tired of being here, tired of the king, and even tired of this half drunk thief who doesn’t appear to be as great as the stories have said he’d be. “Look, now that Feldspar is here, you can send him to the elf kingdom to get the medallion, and I’ll be on my way home, informing my people that our land is safe, as you promised,” Tweek said. He was about to leave, but Cartman interrupted him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where do you think you’re going, barbarian?” Cartman asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Home?” Tweek said, “it’s late and I should head back to my people and make sure everything is okay. I have been gone all day you know,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...you’ll have to take the thief with you then,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what? What do you mean?” Tweek asked, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek, we both know that Feldspar is a skilled thief, but he’s still a thief. I can’t have him staying here for the night, and I especially can’t have him going to the elf kingdom by himself since how will I know he won’t simply take the medallion and just run away with it? Thieves aren’t to be trusted you know,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek gritted his teeth but took a deep breath, “you could always have Butters go with him, or even the princess? Maybe one of the guards? Why do I have to go with him?” Tweek asked. “And why does he have to stay with me? You can always have a guard look after him during the night if you’re that worried,” Tweke said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s Feldspar, he can easily escape, even with a guard nearby,” Cartman said, “and I can’t have Butters or Kenny since those two won’t be able to handle that thief, and you’re the only one strong enough to handle this thief’s quick knife work...that and because you’re expendable,” Cartman said. Tweek felt his eye twitching, “another thing is that if Feldspar stays with you, you won’t have to worry about getting anything stolen since I highly doubt barbarians have anything of value,” Cartman snickered. “Now..are you going to do as I say and take Feldspar with you and help him with his mission...or do you want me to go with my other plan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek really wanted to punch the king in the stomach and scream at him for adding more things to their deal, which was unfair. However, knowing that his land is at risk and Tweek had no foot to stand on, he had no choice. “Yes, your highness. I’ll be in charge of Feldspar until we retrieve the medallion and bring it back to you,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good, then you have your orders,” Cartman turned towards Feldspar, “and as for you, I know that you won’t be doing this job for free, and to make sure you do return with that medallion, I will offer you a reward. Name anything you want and you shall have it,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig, who has been silent the entire time and was no longer in a giggling fit, simply glared at the wizard king, crossing his arms, “yeah...I got one. I want you to fucking apologize to barbarian boy over here and leave him and his land alone after this job is done,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what?” Cartman looked at him, shocked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You heard me. I want you to get on your knees, and beg for forgiveness. What kind of asshole goes around making a promise with someone, only to change it at the last second because it’s more convenient to them?” Craig said angrily, “so here’s what’s going to happen, we will get that dumb medallion for you, we’ll come back, and once you have what you want, I want you to apologize right in front of everyone in this entire castle, and then...I want you to stop bugging him unless it’s urgent. You understand?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman began to fumble with his words, “I...I...you are in no position to tell me what to do! I will not apologize to a barbarian,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Then...should I go ahead and tell the elf king about your plan? I’m sure he’d be very angry if he found out, might even retaliate,” Craig smirked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-you wouldn’t dare!” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh...I dare...I mean..you’re not my king, and it’s not like I follow anyone’s authority to begin with...so…” Craig smiled coyly at the king, “and don’t even try to threaten me with magic, I’ve dealt with many powerful sorcerers before, and I always get out okay. So your magic doesn’t scare me, fat ass,” Craig said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek gawked at the thief, couldn’t believe what he was hearing. As for the king, he was furious, it looked like he was ready to throw a tantrum any minute, might even kill the thief right then and there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You...you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha ha! Forgive him, he had a bit to drink earlier when I found him, so he’s not all there! Um...I shall take Feldspar home with me and we shall start our journey to the elf kingdom tomorrow morning,” Tweek said. “Farewell, your highness, we shall come back victorious!” Tweek said, “let’s go,” Tweek then dragged Craig out of there. Once the two were outside, Tweek turned towards the thief, ready to strangle him, “I can’t believe you did that,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was an ass. He deserved to be called out on his bullshit,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...yes...but you could have made the king change his mind and went back to his super soaker weapon plan!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That plan is still stupid,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it’s stupid, which is why I don’t want it happening,” Tweek sighed, “just please...while we’re working together on getting the medallion, try to take things seriously, and most of all...please...listen to what I have to say. Okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig rolled his eyes, “whatever,” Craig sighed, “now...are we heading to your place or what? It’s getting dark and my head is killing me right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed, “yes, just follow me...and please...don’t do anything to make me look bad in front of my people,” Tweek sighed as he started taking the thief home with him, “...and thanks...for sticking up for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....You’re welcome,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two then headed to Tweek’s tribe together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they made it to the tribe, everyone came out of their huts. They were all happy to see their leader had returned and immediately, surrounded the two. The children came running, hugging their leader and showing their excitement, and Tweek couldn’t help but smile and greet everyone. As for Craig, he felt uncomfortable as a few of the barbarians stared at him, curious as to why he was here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh...Tweek? Mind helping me here? I feel like this old guy is ready to rip my head off,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, my people aren’t great with outsiders,” Tweek said, “leave him be, he’s a guest, not a prisoner or anyone you should worry about,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone seemed to back off after that. The children then came running towards the thief, curious at the clothes he wore and the contents in his bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey hey, what’s that?” A little boy asked, pointing at the dagger that was in its sheath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? This? Just my favorite dagger,” Craig said as he took it out and showed it to the boy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow...it’s so shiny,” the boy said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, I cleaned all my weapons so they are sharp and beautiful,” Craig said. He then started waving the dagger around, making a few stabbing gestures in the air, and doing a few tricks with it for the boy. The boy was quite impressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I hold it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh...no...I don’t think so. A kid like you shouldn’t be holding sharp things,” Craig said as he placed his dagger back into his sheath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmph, but mother lets me hold lots of sharp things, including an ax!” The boy said. He then took out a knife that was made of wood and sharp stone, “look! I have a dagger like you! Though not as shiny,” the boy said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig was surprised before he turned towards Tweek, “do you really let kids play with weapons?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek looked at him, confused, “of course. How else are they to learn combat and how to properly use weapons as they get older? Teaching them to handle weapons at a young age is the best way for them to learn,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t that dangerous?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe to outsiders like you, but we barbarians are war mongrels,” Tweek said, “children are to mature once they have reached a certain age, but we still let them act like a child when there is no war to fight,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see...well considering no one here looks like they stabbed their own eyes by accident, I’ll just assume that the kids here are very responsible with their weapons,” Craig said, though he was a bit tense when the boy started waving his knife around in front of his friends, trying to mimic the movements that Craig did earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed as he looked at everyone, knowing full well he needed to tell them the bad news. So once everyone has gathered, Tweek made his announcement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My warriors...I have some sad news for all of you. The wizard king has threatened to take our land because of his petty war with the elf kingdom,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone began to murmur, some even saying that they should rip the wizard king’s head off for even daring to take their land. It was obvious that everyone was no please with the news.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...However...I managed to convince the king to leave our land alone...but...I must do some work for him that requires me to leave for a few days,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why must you go?” One asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The king needs me to look after my guest here, Craig. We are to leave tomorrow morning to the elf kingdom to retrieve an item. Once we have given the item to the king, I shall return to you all, and our homes will be safe,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone began to murmur once more. Some even wondered why Criag couldn’t just go by himself, or why their barbarian king has to leave them. Tweek sighed, seeing how upset everyone was being, but he knew that this was only a temporary thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone, I know you’re all upset, but do not be angry. I will return, I promise. For now...you all must handle things while I’m gone tomorrow, so please...believe in your king, believe in me! I shall return to you all in a few days. I promise,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The people fell silent before the all agreed that if it’s for the sake of their land, then so be it. Everyone gave their support for their king, showing how much they will miss him, telling him to be safe of the monsters in the woods, and to not take too long on his travels. Tweek smiled, seeing all the love and support towards him. No matter what, he was going to protect his people and their home from the wizard king.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, cape man...how come you smell very bad?” A little girl asked Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I don’t smell…” Craig too a whiff of his arm and nearly gagged, “ugh...okay...I may have not bathed in a few days,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The children giggled and began to call Craig stinky, even singing a song about his smell around him. Craig was not amused and looked for Tweek for some help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled and walked over, “okay, no more teasing my guest here. Move along, go to your parents,” Tweek said. The children then ran off to their mothers and fathers. Tweek then looked at Craig, took a whiff, and quickly covered his nose, “okay...you seriously need a bath. If you’re sleeping in my hut, I do not want to be woken up by your stench,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig frowned and flipped him off, “fuck you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled, “come on, after a long day, I think we both deserve a nice long bath,” Tweek said. Tweek then guided Craig to the small bath house they have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they were inside, enjoying the steam, and the water washing away the dirt from their skin, Tweek sat down in the giant tub, feeling all his tension melt away. He really needed this bath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Tweek was scrubbing his arms, he couldn’t help but noticed Craig, sitting a few inches away from him. Tweek then noticed the wound on Craig’s arm. “Is that where your ex partner shot you?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig looked at him before he hid his wound from Tweek, “don’t mention that fucker to me again,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry...I don’t mean to pry your business...it’s just...it looks really bad. Maybe we should get it cleaned before you get an infection. When exactly did you get shot?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Two weeks ago,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Two weeks!? Oh god, and it looks that bad? Have you even tried cleaning it?” Tweek asked as he quickly grabbed Craig’s arm, “it looks really bad, but I’m sure I can clean it before it gets worse. Let’s just hope your arm doesn’t get infected, otherwise we’d have to cut it off,” Tweek said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig huffed before he pulled his arm back and hid his wound once more, “mind your own damn business! Who cares if my arm gets infected? Michael sure didn’t care,” Craig huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael?” Tweek knew he heard Craig mentioning someone named Michael, he wasn’t sure who he was, but with the attitude and anger from Craig’s voice, Tweek might have a sinking suspicion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crossbow...Michael is his real name...just like how Feldspar is my nickname. Tch...the ungrateful jerk. I gave him that name since he was terrible at nicknames, and you know what he does? He still bashes the name I give him. Now that he’s no longer with me, I think he decided to go with a stupid name he made up for himself. The Shadowman, or whatever the fuck it was.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shadowman? Well that’s kinda lame and stupid,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, right? But not to Michael, oh no...he’d rather go solo and be called the Shadowman instead of being with me and use the nickname I carefully picked out for him! I thought about it very hard too since I wanted him to have a cool sounding name,” Craig huffed, “ugh...that fucking piece of...shit!” Craig then slapped the water in front of him, letting it splash and nearly hitting Tweek in the face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Calm down, Craig,” Tweek said, trying his best to calm the thief down, “look...it’s over between you two now. It’s been...what? Two weeks since you last saw him? It’s time to forget about him and move on. That’s the only way for you to heal your heart,” Tweek sighed, “and who knows...you might even find someone better than him once your heart has healed,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I don’t want to find someone else...I don’t even want to think about dating another person after him,” Craig frowned, “I will never...love again. Love...only ends with heartbreak...and traitors,” Craig then stood up and grabbed a towel, “I think I bathed enough, I’m going to put my clothes back on and meet you outside,” Craig said as he stepped out of the tub.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...” Tweek didn’t stop him, knowing full well that would only upset the thief more. Tweek just sighed as he watched the thief put his clothes back on before leaving the bath house. “...Whoever this Michael or Crossbow guy is...you really hurt him,” Tweek sighed as he no longer felt relaxed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later that night, Tweek was trying to sleep in his hut, but couldn’t sleep when he heard the crackle of a campfire. Tweek woke up and noticed that the thief wasn’t sleeping in the cot that Tweek had gotten for him to sleep in for the night. Tweek looked around, worried that the thief had ran off or had stolen something, but when he noticed the light outside his hut, as well as someone sitting in front of the entrance, he realized it was Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig?” Tweek got up and walked over, seeing how the thief was burning a few things from his bag, “w-what are you doing?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Burning some trash,” Craig said as he took out what appeared to be a necklace and was about to put it in the fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, hold it. That looks expensive,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is,” Craig said, “It was stolen from a jewelry shop,” Craig said, “not really my taste, but Michael got it for me because he thought it looked good on me,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Wait...are you burning all the gifts that your ex gave you?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More like trash now. They are no use to me anymore, and it’s not like I can give them away since most of it has my or his initials, and I can’t sell them since most of this shit ain’t that expensive, and I can’t just throw them away since I’m not big on littering the woods with trash. So burning it is the best option,” Craig said as he takes the necklace and throws it into the fire. The two watched as the metal began to melt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Won’t you regret getting rid of some of these momentos? I know he hurt you and all, but you must have been with him for a long time, which means you had a lot of good memories. Don’t you at least want to keep the good memories with you?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...There are no good memories,” Craig sighed, “believe when I say that I’ve thought about those good memories, and the more I thought about them, I started realizing that most of it was...fake,” Craig sighed. Craig took out a piece of bark, “he took this from a three because he wrote our initials on it, but I said I wanted to see it always since it was a nice memory of our first date, so he cut off the bark and gave it to me. Now that I think about it...he probably did it because I really wanted to see our initials all the time,” Craig sighed as he threw the bark into the fire. He then took out a doll, “he made this for my birthday. I thought it was sweet, but now...I find it cheap since he basically made it out of sticks and wood, he didn’t even put a lot of effort into making it since it’s always crumbling, and I had to fix it,” Craig frowned as he destroyed the wooden doll and threw it in the fire, “and this…” Craig took out the wanted poster that Tweek saw earlier, “...even if this image was drawn by someone we didn’t know and is used for the wanted posters...the more I look at it...the more I realized...that Michael probably hid his face when we’re robbing people together because...he didn’t want his face to be associated with me. He was embarrassed by me,” Craig said. He ripped the poster up and threw the pieces into the fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...You know...maybe it’s not as bad as it seems?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...The bastard shot me in the arm the last time I saw him,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Fair point,” Tweek sighed, “but maybe...not all that you think is bad is actually bad. Maybe at some point...it was real,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe,” Craig sighed as he finished dumping all the memories and gifts of his ex, but even with them gone, he didn’t feel any better. “...Tch...five fucking years...and this is where I end up. Half my stuff gone, alone, heartbroken...and my arm still hurting from being shot,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek got up and headed back inside his hut, he looked around until he found what he needed. He came back outside, holding a jar. “Look, I’m really worried for your arm, so please...just let me put this medicine on it, it’ll make sure your arm doesn’t get anymore infected,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig sighed, “might as well,” Craig said as he pulled back his sleeve and revealed the wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Tweek said as he sat down and started applying the medicine on the wound. Craig winced from the burning feeling from the medicine, but after a few seconds, it felt cool and nice on his arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks…” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Tweek sat there, tending to the thief, he couldn’t help but noticed how the thief was far different from earlier. When Tweek met him, he thought the thief was an obnoxious, narcissistic, angry drunkard, but right now, Tweek can see that he was just a hurt man who once trusted his life to someone, only to be betrayed at the end. Tweek couldn’t help but feel sorry for Craig, and wished he could help him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...You know...even though your first love didn’t go as you expected...you shouldn’t give up love entirely,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch..have you ever been in love?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...no...not yet. I guess I never found the right person for me,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah well...when you find that person, you can’t help but feel a slew of emotions going through you,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh really? Mind explaining?” Tweek asked, listening to the thief very carefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...It’s hard to explain, but when you’re with that person, it’s as if the world has stopped and it’s just you and them. You feel calm on the inside, and yet you are nervous. Butterflies are in your stomach, your heart might burst, and this feeling that you can’t speak or do much of anything. You’re just a ball of nerves..and yet...you don’t mind, it excites you, it’s...a feeling that makes you feel...happy knowing that this person exists,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The more that Tweek listened, the more he felt amazed by Craig’s words. It sounded genuine, sounded nice, it sounded like art. Tweek listened more closely, enjoying every word that Craig said, feeling his heart skip a beat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you’re in love...everything is great in the world,” Craig smiled, but soon his smile turned into a frown, and his eyes narrowing as he stared at the fire, “but then...when the person you’ve trusted your whole life with ends up being the one that hurts you the most...those warm feelings you get starts to fade...and the world becomes dark. You then realized that...there is no such thing as true love...and you can’t trust anyone with your heart again,” Craig said as he looked down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Craig...not everyone is going to hurt you like he did. There are people that you can trust,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig just frowned and glared at the fire, “yeah right,” Craig then got up, picked up his bag, and headed for the hut, “now that I got rid of that trash, I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight,” Craig then went inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek sighed as he stared at the fire, watching as the necklace he saw earlier began to melt and fuse with the burning wood. Tweek sighed as he grabbed some dirt and put out the fire. Tweek then got up and headed inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the morning, Tweek can only hope that Craig will feel a little better.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>In the morning, Craig and Tweek had packed up their supplies, brought any weapons they needed, and prepared their horses. Tweek said his goodbyes to his people, while Craig just sat on his horse in silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I shall return to you all in a few days,” Tweek said, “take care, everyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek’s people said their goodbyes and praises, and Tweek smiled. Suddenly, the little boy that Craig talked to the other day rushed over to Craig, handing him the wood and stone dagger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here, Mr. Cape...you’re going to need this for your travels,” the boy said</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig was surprised, “oh, you don’t have to. I have plenty of sharp tools with me, besides, this belongs to you,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom says that this will bring you luck. For special emergencies,” the little boy said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh...well,” Craig takes the dagger from the boy, “thank you. I’ll keep this safe,” Craig said as he placed the dagger into his bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy smiled, “good luck, and try not to get eaten by the monsters in the woods,” the boy said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled, “we will be fine, young one. After all, your leader is taking care of Mr. Cape here,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig glared at Tweek, but doesn’t say anything. He just patted the boy on the head and let the boy happily go back to his parents. Craig then sat up straight on his horse, ready to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we go now?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Tweek sighed, “so long!” Tweek said to his people before he started telling his horse to start moving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone began to wish them luck, praising them success, and to be careful of the dangers that are out there. It made Tweek’s heart swell, wishing he didn’t have to leave, but he knew that this was for the sake of his people’s land.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The journey to retrieve the high elf priest’s medallion begins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the most part, the thief and the barbarian had been silent during their ride, and though Tweek didn’t mind it, he couldn’t help but get a bit bored and would like to start a conversation with the thief, even a little. So Tweek looked over, seeing the thief having a melancholy look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...So uh...how’s the arm?” Tweek asked, “did the medicine I gave you last night helped?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yeah, it’s fine,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good,” Tweek smiled. “I guess now we don’t have to worry about cutting off your arm, right?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“.....” Craig fell silent as he stared ahead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek sighed, now feeling awkward. “Craig...look...I know you’re pissed and everything, but don’t you think it’s time you moved on? After all, if you keep being this sad or angry, you might end up-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck!?” Craig looked up and noticed a wanted poster tacked to a tree. Craig hopped off his horse and walked over it, he grabbed the poster and glared angrily at it. “Are you shitting me right now!?” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what?” Tweek said as he jumped off his horse and rushed over to see what Craig was looking at it. When Tweek peeked at the poster, he saw an image of a hooded man, whose face isn’t revealed, but the name of the man was the Shadowman. “Wait...didn’t you tell me that your ex was going by Shadowman?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is my fucking ex!” Craig glared at the poster angrily, “I can’t believe it...it has only been two weeks since he broke up with me, and he’s already a notorious thief!? Already getting his stupid new name out there? Already getting a thousand gold coins as the reward for his capture!? Gah!” Craig ripped the poster up and threw it on the ground, he then stomped on the remains. “Motherfucking piece of shit!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C-calm down,” Tweek said as he tried to stop Craig, “look, so what if he’s already on wanted posters and the reward is a thousand gold pieces? You’re still the great Feldspar,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...That’s right...I'm the great Feldspar! I’m far more amazing than the stupid, piece of shit, crappy Shadowman!” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah...sure,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s right...and I’m going to make sure more people know that!” Craig headed back to his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what are you doing?” Tweek asked, feeling concerned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s consider this a side quest,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-side quest!? W-what about the medallion?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll get it later, right now, I need to prove who is the better thief in the world,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“B-but...we have a week to reach the elf kingdom and get the medallion, any longer than that, Cartman is going to believe we failed and will go back to his original plan!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll only take an hour, I’ll be done before we know it,” Craig said, “now...since you have a map, why don’t you tell me where the next town and village are,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek frowned, “I will do no such thing. We are supposed to be doing a job for the wizard king, we can’t stray away from that,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, fine, if you’re not going to help me, I’ll do everything myself,” Craig then grabbed the bag on Tweek’s horse and took out the map.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-hey! That’s my map!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll return it later, right now, I need to find a place to steal from,” Craig huffed. He scanned the map till he saw a village that was closeby. “Ha! There’s a village nearby and on the way, so it’s not like we’re straying from the path that much,” Craig said, “I’ll be done in half an hour,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, please! We can’t afford to do anything but get the medallion! You really don’t need to prove a point that you’re an amazing thief,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, I already know I’m an amazing thief, but that fucker needs to realize that now that he’s on his own, he cannot outshine me,” Craig clicked his tongue and soon he was off to the village.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek quickly rushed back to his horse and got on, he quickly followed Craig. “Craig! Come back!” Tweek exclaimed. He couldn’t believe it, it’s only been an hour since Tweek and Craig started their journey, and already, everything has gone wrong. “Craig! Please! Come back! We need the medallion or else my people are doomed!” Tweek exclaimed. “God damn it! Why is he so fucking stubborn!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chased after Craig until they had reached the village. During the chase, Tweek had already lost him, but when he found Craig’s horse standing by the entrance to the village, he knew that Craig was already there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crap...where’d he go?” Tweek muttered. He looked around, but couldn’t find him. He sighed as he started to feel panicked, “do you have idea where your idiot owner is?” Tweek asked Craig’s horse. Of course, the horse doesn’t say anything, too busy eating grass to even acknowledge the barbarian.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed as he looked around. There were a few people outside their homes, but no one seemed to be panicking or reacting in anyway, so he wasn’t sure if Craig had started his stealing spree yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I should ask someone and hope to god that he hasn’t stolen anything yet,” Tweek said as he started heading into the village. He went up to a few people, wondering if they have seen the thief, “excuse me, have you seen a guy who is about this tall, wearing a blue hat, raven hair, blue eyes, and is also wearing a cape?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm...I’ve seen someone like that somewhere. They just came to the village all of a sudden. We all greeted him, but he told us he was in a rush and was asking us a few strange questions,” said a woman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Questions?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, asking us what is the most valuable thing in the village. Now, we don’t really have much here, but we did say that the most priceless jewel that is embedded in our fountain. The jewel was founded by our founder, and we have a rule that no one is allowed to steal it or sell it. The founder saw the jewel as a good luck charm, and if anyone stole it, the penalty will be death,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...R-really?” Tweek paled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep, we told all of that to that fellow with the cape, he simply nodded, and went on his way. Not sure where he’s going, but he seemed like a nice young man,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone! The jewel from the fountain is gone!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What!?” Everyone began to panic as they all rushed over to the fountain, Tweek joining along. Once they reached the fountain, they all saw that the jewel was indeed gone from the fountain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who could have stolen it!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was right there a few minutes ago!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait...didn’t that stranger who arrived a few minutes ago happened to be walking around the fountain?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek realized that people were starting to ask questions, so he knew he had to find Craig and get out of there before anyone noticed. As Tweek looked around, he saw someone in the distance walking away from the crowd, their head down, and was heading straight for the entrance. Knowing full well who that person was, Tweek quietly rushed over, stopping them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, what have you done?” Tweek whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does it look like?” Craig smirked as he held out a giant jewel, “man...these people should have been more careful with something like this. I mean seriously, just because the founder saw it as a lucky jewel, that doesn’t mean you should just leave it in a freaking fountain and hope to god that no one tries to steal it. It’s really their own fault for not thinking things through,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, put it back and let’s go,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way, I need these people to know that the one who stole from them is Feldspar, the greatest thief al-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nobody cares who stole it! They’re going to kill you!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There they are! The thieves!” Everyone who had heard Tweek yelling turned their heads and were now staring at the two.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...You seriously need to stop shouting so loudly,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh fuck,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get them!” The crowd began to chase after the two, and both Craig and Tweek began running for their lives.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is all your fault!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My fault!? You’re the one who decided to yell very loudly like an idiot,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you’re the one who decided to steal these people’s jewels just to feed your stupid ego!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ego!? I’m just trying to prove a point to that fucking asshole that he cannot suddenly try to be a better thief than me when he left me two weeks ago!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For fuck sake! He left you, get over it! So what if it’s only been two weeks!? Who fucking cares!? Ugh! From how you’re acting, it’s no wonder he broke up with y-” Tweek suddenly felt something hit him in the back, causing him to fall down. He realized that someone actually threw a rock at him. “Shit! Craig!” Tweek looked up, but saw that Craig was still running. “W-wait! Don’t leave me!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry barbarian boy, but the great Feldspar helps no one now that he’s going solo,” Craig quickly got on his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God damn it, Craig, you piece of-” Tweek suddenly felt hands grabbing him, and picking him up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quick! Get the other one! He’s the one that took the jewel!” Someone said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smirked as he looked at them before he pulled on the reins and began his escape. Craig then stood up carefully on his horse and looked back at the angry mob, “sorry to leave with your precious jewel, everyone, but hey, at least you got the honor to be robbed by the great Feldspar. So farewell everyone, I bid you ad-” Before Craig could finish, his head hit the welcome sign and he fell to the ground. “Ow...motherfucker...why would you build a sign that low?” Craig cursed. Then again, it was more his fault for standing on top of a horse and not looking where he was going.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Grab him!” Someone said as the crowd reached the thief and grabbed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-wait!” Craig struggled to get out of everyone’s grip, but so many people had grabbed his arms and legs, he couldn’t do anything to escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two were then placed in the center of the village, tied to a single wooden post, and a bunch of sticks surrounded their feet. Tweek looked around and realized that the villagers were going to burn them alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-wait! You don’t have to do this! W-we’ll just give you back the jewel, we’ll leave, and no one has to die,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, but rules are rules. The founder hated thieves, and anyone caught stealing...well...we burned them to the stake,” a woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“B-but...you have the jewel and we learned our lesson, can’t you just let us go?” Tweek begged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lesson? I learned jack shit. All I learned is that these people are fucking idiots to think that no one is tempted to steal a fucking jewel that is in a fountain. I mean...come on...that’s literally like telling thieves like me that you want the thing to be stolen right now,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Tweek exclaimed, he looked back at the people, “please, you really don’t have to do this,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Mmmmm...nah...we like killing strangers that think it’s a great idea to steal from us, it’s how we kept our reputation as the most brutalists and merciless village across the land,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Oh...so that’s why on the map it says that this village is known for being the brutalist and merciless village across the land. I just thought it was a weird and long name,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you fucking kidding me right now,” Tweek glared at him, “you strayed away from our mission because you couldn’t let go of the fact that your ex is becoming a known thief now and is possibly doing better without you around, and now...we’re going to die and burn like witches!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch, relax. You know who you’re talking to? I’m Feldspar, known for escaping any type of situation since I always….” Craig patted his pockets and the side of his belt from underneath the ropes that tied him, and he paled when he felt nothing, “...w-where are my daggers and knives?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh...you mean these?” The woman said as she gestured to a pile of knives and daggers on the ground in front of them. Craig stared at them, feeling less confident now. “Sweetheart, we made sure to check your pockets and sleeves before tying you up. Hell, we learned our lesson after another thief came here and stole our gold from us, the guy was swift, smooth, and had a bunch of hidden weapons underneath that hooded cloak of his. Managed to get out of his ropes in seconds and escaped on a beautiful black stallion carrying a carriage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Black...stallion...carriage?” Craig muttered, “what...was this...thief called?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well he ran out of here very quickly...but I think he introduced himself as the Shadowman,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig felt his eye twitching, “are you fucking kidding me!?” Craig shouted, wiggling in his ropes and getting furious, “he came to this village first!? Motherfucker!” Craig shouted at the top of his lungs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Language. We have children present,” the woman said, “now...let’s burn these two thieves,” the woman said. The crowd cheered and began throwing their torches on the pile of sticks, and a fire soon surrounded the two.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god! C-Craig...you got any ideas how to escape?” Tweek said, getting anxious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh who cares...that fucker came here before me and used my tricks to escape! Ugh...he’s already beaten me at my own game! Face it...I’m old news now...everyone is going to forget Feldspar and will now remember the Shadowman...which now I’ll admit is a better name,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig! Please! We’re going to burn alive here!” Tweek exclaimed. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All he wanted to do was get the medallion and save his people’s land from Cartman’s stupid plan, but here he was, tied up to a stake, about to burn alive because the thief he had to take care of wanted to prove a point to his ex. Tweek didn’t even steal the jewel or wanted to, so why was he being punished like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig sighed, “aren’t you supposed to be the strongest barbarian alive or something? Can’t you just break these ropes with your super strength?” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Oh...right…” Tweek nearly forgot about that. Tweek took a deep breath and started pushing his arms against the rope. Once the rope snapped and the two were free, he quickly grabbed Craig, used Craig’s cape, and covered the both of them as they jumped through the fire before it got any bigger. “Oh god! We made it!” Tweek exclaimed, happy that he was still alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh...yeah...we made it...but you forgot about something,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek looked around and saw that the angry mob was still there, really angry now. “Oh yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well gentlemen...since you two can’t seem to just stay still and burn alive...how about we kill you by pulling each and every one of your limbs until they’re ripped out of your bodies?” The woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow...you people really are merciless,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just before the crowd could grab the two, the ground suddenly began to shake. The people froze and became terrified.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s here! The monster has returned! Run to your homes everyone!” Someone shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone soon ignored the two and quickly ran back into their homes, mothers grabbing their children, workers dropping their tools, and people just rushing back to their homes and locking the doors. Both Craig and Tweek looked at each other, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s that about?” Craig said as he used this opportunity to pick up his weapons from the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I think they’re scared,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scared of what?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scared of the ground shaking just now...I think...something is coming,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before they knew it, the trees began to creak and bend, and the two looked up to see an ogre peeking their head from the trees and coming over. Tweek’s eyes widened and quickly grabbed Craig’s hand as they hid behind a house, praying they weren’t seen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god, it’s an ogre,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s an ogre doing here? Don’t they stay in swamps or something?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It must be out hunting for food,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But why is it here?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess it knows that there are humans here. After all...ogres love the taste of human flesh,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ogre sniffed the air before letting out a roar. The ogre was as tall as the trees with huge hands that can easily grab a person. It looked around as it came into the village. It suddenly used its giant foot to kick a house, knocking it down. When the ogre saw a man cowering within the rubble, the ogre immediately grabbed the man and before the two knew it, it chomped off the man’s head right then and there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....We have to leave, now,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek watched as he could hear a few of the people inside the homes crying and cowering in fear. He knew that they wouldn’t stand a chance, not when the ogre knew damn well that they were inside and would only stick around until it was full or there was no one left. Tweek couldn’t leave these people to die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t leave. We have to help these villagers,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They tried to kill us, remember?” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well it’s your fault for stealing from them,” Tweek sighed, “these people are innocent and they will all die today by that ogre unless we do something,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I ain’t doing shit,” Craig said, “who cares if those psychos get killed, better them than us,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you seriously going to abandon these innocent people? Are you going to let children die by that thing?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, I look out for myself. It’s not my fault that these idiots decided to build their entire village where an ogre can easily come and eat them. If this was a repeated thing, they should have moved or something. So it’s not my problem that they all die because of the stupid choices they made,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, you can’t be this heartless,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, if you want to die by that thing, go ahead, but I’m leaving,” Craig said as he turned to head for his horse, but he soon stopped when he saw the ogre’s hand reached out and grabbed his horse from where it stood. Tweek’s horse immediately made a run for it when it saw the hand, and Craig’s horse was about to run, but the ogre had already captured it. “Oh no…” Craig muttered, his eyes wide. “That bastard took my horse!” Craig said as he started making his way towards the monster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing? You’ll be killed if you go out there all of a sudden!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care! That horse has been with me since Michael left, and I will not let that thing turn my horse into his lunch,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hold it...look...if you do as I say...I can save your horse and the people here, but you will have to listen to me, got it?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh...fine, but I’m doing this for Winter,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek nodded and he began to tell his plan to Craig. Once the two knew what they needed to do, they split up and Craig walked over in front of the ogre, just as the ogre was sniffing at the horse and was ready to eat it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Hey ugly! Put my horse down right now!” Craig shouted. The ogre stopped and looked down, seeing Craig just standing there. “Yeah, I’m talking to you! Now put my horse down right this minute! I don’t give two flying fucks about what you do to these assholes here, but you are not eating my horse!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ogre, now losing interest with the horse, placed the horse down and was starting to come over to where Craig was. It let out a growl and quickly reached out to grab Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Gotcha,” Craig quickly ducked just as the ogre was about to grab him. Craig then immediately headed towards his horse and jumped on, “come on, let’s lead this fucker away from here,” Craig said. He began guiding the ogre away from the village and headed straight for the forest. The ogre chased after him and was getting close, but Craig made sure he was a good distance ahead of it. Craig looked up and saw Tweek was on top of the tree, holding a dagger in his hand, and getting ready to strike. “Tweek, now!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek quickly jumped onto the ogre’s head once it was close enough. The first thing Tweek did was stab the ogre in the eye before jumping down and slashing at the ogre’s face, shoulders, and any skin he could reach. The ogre let out a roar as it swung its arms around, trying to grab Tweek, but Tweek would stab the ogre’s hands and quickly jumped from one part of the ogre to the next before he eventually climbed down and sliced the ogre’s legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek kept running until he saw the trap he had made, a rope that was tied between two trees, and beyond the trees was a cliff. Thanks to Tweek slashing at the ogre’s eye, it’ll probably have a hard time seeing it and would be too distracted chasing after him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Over here! Come get me!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ogre growled as it chased after the barbarian, but Tweek quickly dodged and kept running, making sure to have the ogre close enough so it wouldn’t see the cliff ahead. The moment that the ogre tried to grab Tweek once more, Tweek immediately ducked under the ropes and ran to the side. The ogre, not seeing the rope, wasn’t able to stop in time before it tripped over the rope and began to fall towards the cliff. Tweek quickly got out of the way as the ogre fell over, snapping the rope and taking one of the trees with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ogre was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig came rushing over to Tweek, “wow...can’t believe that actually worked,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “well you should trust me more often then,” Tweek said. “At least it’s gone now and won’t harm those people anymore,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but most of all, my Winter is okay,” Craig said as he patted his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek rolled his eyes, but had a smile on his face. At least the thief was very considerate towards his horse, so maybe he’s not all that self-centered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as the two were relaxed, the ground began to shake once more. Before they knew it, the ogre reappeared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit! It must have grabbed onto the side of the cliff! It’s still alive!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before the two could escape, the ogre reached out and grabbed Craig. “Hey! Let go!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ogre looked at Craig and looked ready to crush him in his hands. Tweek knew he had to think quickly before Craig was killed by the ogre. Tweek looked around until he saw the other tree he used to tie the rope to was slightly pulled out of the ground. Quickly thinking, Tweek ran over and began to pull the tree out of the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on! ...Gah!” Tweek took the tree out, lifted in the air, and quickly threw the tree straight at the ogre. The tree hits the ogre in the face, the pointed end stabbing at the ogre’s only good eye. The ogre screamed in pain, it fell back over the cliff, and promptly let Craig go from its grasp. “Craig!” Tweek shouted as he rushed over to catch him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit!” Craig shouted as he was about to hit the ground, but Tweek managed to catch him just before he touched the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek lifted Craig in his arm and looked down at him, making sure he was alright, “oh my god, Craig! Are you alright!?” Tweek asked as he stared at the thief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig had his eyes closed when he was falling, so when he opened them, he was surprised by how close he was to the barbarian. He felt Tweek’s strong arms holding his entire body up as he was being carried princess-style, Tweek’s bangs were messily covering his face, but at a certain angle made him look appealing to the thief, the sweat dripping from Tweek’s face glistened just as the sunlight behind Tweek gave the barbarian almost an angelic looked. The more Craig stared at the barbarian, the more his heart raced, probably even more than when he was falling and thought he was going to die. Never once did Craig really look at the barbarian this closely, but he’ll admit that the barbarian was actually really attractive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....!” Craig realized what he just thought and his face went completely red. He quickly wiggled in Tweek’s arms, pushing Tweek’s face away, and yelling at him to put him down, “put me the fuck down!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay okay! Quit wiggling or I’m going to drop you,” Tweek exclaimed, annoyed that Craig was pushing his face like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Craig was down, he took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart. He kept telling himself that what happened never happened, and even if it did happen, it was probably the adrenaline from when he was falling. Craig then looked over the cliff to make sure the ogre was dead, and when he saw the body, all mangled up and pierced by a few sharp rocks, Craig can safely say that the ogre is dead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good riddance,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...now the villagers will be safe,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Unless there are actually more than one ogre coming to this village,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I’m just saying. It’s a possibility you know,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You...you two saved us!” The two turned around and were surprised to see the villagers coming towards then. The woman from earlier came rushing towards the two and surprised them by hugging them. “Thank you! Thank you so much! That monster has been coming to our village nearly every month, feeding off dozens of us! We tried to move away or live somewhere else, but we could never find a place that was safe...and we’ll admit...a lot of other kingdoms have heard about our reputation and didn’t want to take any chances,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...considering you kill people immediately for stealing one thing, yeah...I can see why others might be a bit afraid of you guys,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek elbowed Craig in the arm and looked at the woman, “look, we’re glad that we got rid of that monster and your people are safe, and we’re also sorry for stealing your jewel. But now that you have it back and we did get rid of your monster problem...you think you can be merciful this one time and let us go? We really have other places to be,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman quickly nodded, “of course, anything for our heroes,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heroes?” Craig muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, heroes,” the woman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That did not sound right with Craig, but before Craig could say anything, Tweek covered his mouth and smiled, “well I’m glad we helped you folks, we should be on our way now, we have something that we really need to do, and this whole thing has really put us back,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, of course,” the woman said. “Thank you again, heroes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To our heroes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Our heroes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig frowned as he kept hearing the word hero over and over, but he kept his mouth shut as they left. Once the two were back on their horses, they immediately left the village and continued their journey to the elf kingdom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god, that was close! It’s almost a miracle that we didn’t die,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you hear what those assholes called us?” Craig huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean...heroes?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes! How can they call me a hero when I pretty much robbed them earlier. Ugh...this entire thing was a total bust, not only did Michael got to that village first, but I wasn’t able to steal that fucking jewel and now a bunch of fuckers are going to probably tell the world that Feldspar is a hero instead of a great thief,” Craig frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...What’s wrong with being called a hero? Heroes get a lot of praises,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch, everyone knows that being a hero isn’t that rewarding. Sure, you get gold and maybe a few benefits, but being a hero is so lame,” Craig said, “not only that...but with how many people want to be a hero, they get upstaged by a new one, and soon...people will forget that hero and move on to the next one, and so on and so forth,” Craig said, “at least with being a thief...there are so many thieves in the world, but...it take a special type of thief that people will remember forever,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...So my guess is that you want people remembering you forever instead of temporary?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well duh,” Craig sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed, “you know...getting attention is great and all...but...do you really want that kind of attention? For me, I don’t care if I’m seen as a hero or a brute from others, all I care about is receiving the loving attention I get from my people, they are my family,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well aren’t you lucky to have the attention from people like that,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Well...don’t you have people like that?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...No...not anymore. My family died from a plague that hit our home, I was the only one that survived, and I’ve been alone since then. Then I met Michael and thought I only needed his support and love...but we both know how that ended,” Craig sighed, “...I have no one...so...what better to get any attention than getting death threats and being on the hit list of many kingdoms? It’s better than not being known by the world and eventually not being remembered at all,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...” Tweek looked down, “Even if the world knows who Feldspar is...it still moves on, even after your death. So even if you had a huge impact on the world...eventually...the world will forget,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig frowned as he stared down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...But you know who won’t forget? Family and those who are close to you. So even if you don’t have anyone...it’s not too late to find someone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch...yeah right,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It really isn’t,” Tweek insisted, “Craig...you’re pushing people away because you don’t want to get hurt again, that you don’t want to be alone again...but...sometimes...you have to trust people, especially those who really do care about you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But Michael-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what about him?” Tweek said, “he left because he wasn’t the right person, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there that will always be there for you. You just have to let them in,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I don’t know if I can,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey...you trusted me when we faced that ogre, so if you can trust me...then you can trust anyone,” Tweek said. “You can do this, Craig. It’s not too late to be remembered by those that actually do matter to you deep down. You don’t need to be famous or infamous to the world, you just need to find the right person that will always see you in a positive light,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig looked down, “...you really think I’ll find someone that will have my back?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “well...starting today...I’ll have your back from now on. So..you can start trusting me and we’ll see where it goes later on,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig looked at him, surprised. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “we worked well together when we faced that ogre, so...I think it’s safe to say that we make the perfect team,” Tweek said, “so...how about it? Want to be partners..though temporary since all we’re doing is getting that medallion,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig looked at him and felt his chest tightening. He wasn’t sure why, but he actually wanted to try. Maybe Michael wasn’t what he expected, but Tweek was right, he can’t just distrust everyone he meets, even people who are actually good to him. “...Alright...I guess...I can do this,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “partners then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...” Craig sighed, “partners...but if you shoot me in the arm, I will cut that pretty head off your body,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek was surprised, “um...yeah...of course,” Tweek cleared his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig looked at him before sighing, somewhat feeling a bit better. “...Thanks,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek didn’t expect that, “for what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...For the talk...and...also for catching me,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...” Tweek smiled as he could see the blush forming on Craig’s cheeks. “So...you think I have a pretty head?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed harder and flipped him off, “shut up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek couldn’t help but laugh. Surprisingly, the thief does have a cute side to him.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>The next few days have been somewhat of a bonding moment between the thief and barbarian. Ever since the two started their partnership, Tweek have found a bit more about the real Feldspar than what stories have told about him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...is it true that you fought fifty guards with a single dagger?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course it’s true, a lot of the stuff I did were true,” Craig said, looking proud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Really?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Okay...maybe it was exactly fifty guards, more like ten...and I actually had Michael’s help with half of them. He was hiding up above somewhere and had his crossbow ready,” Craig admitted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pff...how did people think you fought fifty guards?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Well...I may have started that rumor when I was telling this story at this tavern,” Craig said, “I tend to exaggerate a lot when I’m drunk,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can see that happening,” Tweek giggled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed, “well hey, just because some of the stories might have been a bit exaggerated, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t that amazing,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh huh...like how you were amazing looking when I first met you?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig pouted, “I was going through stuff, you can’t blame me for that,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, you know it’s okay to admit that we’re great at something, but we can’t be great at everything all the time. For example, many have said that I’m great with my strength...but...I’m not a very good leader,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Are you kidding? You’re people respect you, how can you say you’re not a great leader?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...It’s just...I only became a leader because of my strength, because I was more confident with talking to outsiders, because I was different from the other barbarians. When I was born, I was actually the smallest child in the tribe, and many didn’t expect me to be much of a fighter. In a way...I believed them, and I grew up staying in my hut, studying the world around me, being with nature, and being curious of people that weren’t barbarians. I never once took part in fights or hunts like the other children. I just stayed at home, learning more about the world...and maybe training myself so I can be as strong as my dad, hoping to be bigger. In the end, I became stronger than I imagined, even surpassing my own father...but...even with my strength...I never felt like a real barbarian since I never took part in all the rituals like the other children, I was still skinny looking, so many outsiders never believed I was the strongest, and I just….don’t behave like my people. Sometimes...I wonder if them making me their leader was a good idea,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek, believe me, you are a good leader. So what if you’re a bit different? You’re still a barbarian. Hell, you could be adopted and still be like one of them. It doesn’t matter how you were raised or what your interests are in. You may be the strongest barbarian alive, but you are also intelligent and willing to do things that the other barbarians probably would never do. Hell, I saw how those guys looked ready to murder me, but you, you have shown that you are not afraid of outsiders, and are willing to talk to them before you decide whether or not they are good or bad. It’s your smarts and strength that makes you a good leader,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek blushed and felt his chest getting warm from Craig’s comments. “Wow...that’s...the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Tweek said, “thank you, and maybe you’re right. Maybe...there is a good reason why my people chose me to be their leader,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course there is. Barbarians may be strong warriors...but even your people know that they need someone intelligent to lead them to victory,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “I guess you’re right,” Tweek never thought the thief would say such kind words to him. Maybe the barbarian has a lot more to learn about the thief than he thought. “So...about that story where you are so charming that you attracted both men and women…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed harder, “that one was invented by Michael...he was trying to embarrass me during our anniversary...that fucker,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “I don’t know...I can sorta see it,” Tweek teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smirked, “oh? Have you fallen for my charms, barbarian boy?” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek laughed, “in your dreams.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two laughed at the joke and continued on their journey, chatting and knowing more about the other. Of course, Tweek couldn’t help but feel his heart get warm the more he talked to the thief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the two continued their travels, Tweek had hoped that their trip would not have any interruptions like with the village and ogre. But of course, when traveling through dangerous and magical lands, there will be a lot of problems ahead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we’re lost,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t be, the map says there is supposed to be a road around here,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve passed that tree that looks like it has a face on it three times. Face it, we’re lost,” Craig huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well it’s hard to see much of anything with this fog around. Ugh, no wonder this area is called Fog Woods,” Tweek sighed as he tried to clear the fog with his hands, but it didn’t help at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know...whoever named these places, why did they have to be so...literal. It’s kinda annoying,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed and just stared at the map, getting more and more frustrated. With the fog, he can’t see which path they are supposed to take, and somehow they kept walking in circles. Tweek was now wondering how the person who discovered this forest made it out alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as the two stood around, wondering where they needed to go, they froze when they heard a wolf howling. The sound was very close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Tch...it’s fine. It sounds like one wolf. We can handle a single wolf if it comes around here,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then they heard more howling from multiple wolves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” The two looked at each other as they became very nervous. Before they knew it, they saw the silhouettes of the wolves in the fog, and immediately rushed back towards their horses and started riding away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go go go!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the two ran, the wolves began to chase after them. One got so close, it nearly bit the leg of Craig’s horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Do not bite her, asshole!” Craig said as he quickly kicked the wolf, causing it to fall back, but the other wolves kept chasing after the two. “Shit! What do we do!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know! With this fog, I can’t see a-” The two suddenly found themselves in a lake. The horses slashed around until they immediately swam to land, leaving both Tweek and Craig in the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great, now we’re lost and wet,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And in danger,” Tweek said as he looked up and saw that the wolves had caught up to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before any of the wolves stepped forward, all of their ears suddenly perked up and they soon had their tails between their legs. They were all scared and soon ran away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was that about?” Craig asked, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I think they were scared,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scared of what?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The water suddenly began to bubble and tremble, and the two looked at each other as they realized that they weren’t the only things in the lake. Quickly, the two started swimming to land, but something brushed against Tweek’s leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gah! Something touched me!” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe it was plants or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No...it felt slick and warm,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay...okay...let’s just get out of the water before-” Craig was suddenly pulled down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!?” Tweek swam over and looked around, but couldn’t see the thief in the water, “Craig? Craig!?” Tweek felt his entire body go tense as he searched for the thief. “Oh god….Craig? Please be alive…” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, Craig burst back to the surface, while struggling to get out of a slimy tongue that was wrapped around his body like rope. “Get out of the water!” Craig shouted as he struggled to cut the rope-like tongue off of his with his dagger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god!” Tweek exclaimed as he quickly swam over and tried to pull the rope off of Craig. “What is this thing!?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have no fucking idea! I think it’s some sort of lake monster trying to eat me!” Craig exclaimed as he felt the tongue pulling him back into the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no no!” Tweek grabbed the tongue, feeling sick from the feeling of it, and pulled back as hard as he could, trying to release Craig. “Let go of him!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nnggg…” Craig struggled, and wasn’t able to use his dagger since the tongue had wrapped around his hands. Craig looked around until he saw the tongue wrapped around his neck, very close to Craig’s face. “...Oh god, this is going to be gross,” Craig took a deep breath as he opened his mouth and bit down on the tongue as hard as he could, drawing blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a screech below them and the tongue finally let the two go. Tweek and Craig took this chance to swim back to land, where they hope they will be safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah gross,” Craig spat on the ground, repulsed from the blood and taste of the monster’s tongue. “Ugh...I hope I don’t get sick from that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just be glad we’re alive,” Tweek sighed. “Whatever that thing is, let’s hope it can only survive in the water.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the two started taking a breather, their time for relaxation was soon interrupted when the water began bubbling violently and the water trembled. Soon, a monstrous creature came out of the water, its sharp teeth showing and its bloodshot eyes. Its tongue had retracted back into the monster’s mouth, but looked ready to grab its victims. The monster stared at the two, obviously angry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, definitely can survive on land,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get on the horses!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two quickly got up and tried to run, but the monster had taken out its tongue and wrapped it around Tweek’s foot, lifting him up in the air. Tweek dangled above the monster, and the monster looked at him, ready to eat him. Tweek struggled and tried to escape, but he was hanging upside down and wasn’t able to reach for the tongue that was wrapped around his foot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god! I’m going to die!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek!” Craig exclaimed. Craig quickly started looking around until he saw a couple of stones on the ground. Craig quickly picked up the stones and started throwing them at the monster. “Let go of him, ugly!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The monster screeched as it stared at Craig. It swam closer, trying to grab Craig with its fin like hands, but Craig managed to dodge it, and instead, jumped on top of the monster and started running at it with his dagger in his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said let go!” Craig shouted as he jumped and stabbed the monster in the eye. The monster howled in pain and eventually let Tweek go. Craig kept stabbing the monster in the eyes repeatedly, causing the monster to bleed out. Eventually, the monster started sinking back into the water, unable to move, so Craig quickly jumped off and watched as the monster went back into the water, its blood mixing with the water. “...Tweek!” Craig rushed over to find Tweek laying on the ground, slightly bleeding on the head after being thrown by the monster. “Hey...you okay?” Craig asked as he gently lifted the barbarian’s head up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah...a few scratches...but I’ll live. Thanks,” Tweek said as he carefully sat up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit...you’re bleeding,” Craig sighed as he looked around. He noticed that the horses were standing near a path that seemed to have more light. “Oh thank god, I think our horses found a way out. Let’s get the fuck out of this forest,” Craig said as he carefully helped Tweek on his feet and started walking with him out of the forest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the two finally left the foggy forest, they quickly looked around for a safe place. Craig eventually found an empty cave and quickly rushed Tweek inside. Once inside, Craig quickly began fetching some water from a nearby stream, gathered stone and wood to make a fire, and made sure that Tweek laid down and did not move from the cave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, really. It’s just a cut,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That thing swung you around and threw you across the lake. You landed on your head. I’m surprised you didn’t get a fucking concussion,” Craig huffed as he started boiling the water into a pot and started taking out a few rags from his bag. “I’m just glad your neck didn’t snap during the fall,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek pouted as he stared at Craig putting warm water onto the rag, waited for it to cool down a bit, and eventually came over to wipe the blood from Tweek’s face. As Craig was taking care of Tweek’s wound, Tweek couldn’t help but find the thief’s worrying tone a bit amusing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re like a doting mother,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to pour this boiling water on your face?” Craig frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled but soon started wincing when Craig placed the wet rag onto his cut, it started to sting a bit. “Ugh...after today...I think we’re going to be a day late,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really, I checked the map. Seems like we might be able to reach the elf kingdom tomorrow, though we’ll have to leave very early in the morning,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh thank god. After all the trouble from this trip, I was worried we’d never make it, and then the king will lose his patience, and eventually will call off this plan and go back to that other one,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, we’re going to steal that medallion, give it to fat ass, and your people and land will be safe. Everything will be fine,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “I hope so,” Tweek sighed as he laid there, letting Craig wash his face. “I think after this adventure...I’m never leaving my hut again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not all bad. Remember the sirens?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I remember how they nearly drowned us while one of them was flirting with you,” Tweek huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...but you’re lucky I didn’t fall for their spell since I wasn’t interested,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yes...watching you act like you were smitten before you took out your dagger and cut off the leader’s head. That was quite a show,” Tweek chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two chuckled as they remembered some of the horrendous things they had faced during their adventure. Monsters nearly ate them, getting lost, and meeting strange people in strange towns. The two were still surprised that despite all that trouble, they hadn’t lost too much time in reaching the elf kingdom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two settled down in that cave just as the sun had finally gone and the moon was now raised in the sky. Even though they were cold and nearly faced death an hour ago, the night was quite beautiful for the two travelers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tomorrow...we’ll finally reach the elf kingdom, then we’ll get our hands on that medallion,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which means we’ll also get what we wanted, you keep your land and people safe, and I get my farm...and then we go our separate ways,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek sighed, “it’s almost...a pity...I was actually starting to enjoy our little partnership together,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig snorted, “does that mean you’re interested in being partners with a thief?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hell no,” Tweek sighed, “...but...maybe...we can work together on that farm? I do know a thing or two on how to run a farm,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig stared at him before smiling, “that would be...kinda nice,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled and began to sit up. He stared up at the sky and watched the moon, while Craig sat there, not thinking much of anything. After a bit, Craig began to rummage around his bag until he noticed a flask, he stared at it before he clicked his tongue and just took it out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck it,” Craig said as he started unscrewing the cap and took a small sip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You had alcohol with you this entire time?” Tweek asked, a bit annoyed at seeing the flask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was for a special occasion,” Craig said. “I was hoping to drink it with Michael for date night or our anniversary...but...now...I guess I might as well not let this go to waste,” Craig sighed as he took another sip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Can I have some?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig stared at the barbarian before handing him the flask. Tweek took a small sip and near spat it out because of how strong the alcohol was and how the flavor wasn’t that great.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh...you actually like this?” Tweek asked as he handed the flask back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hell no. This was actually Michael’s favorite drink. I never really liked it, but I just endured for him,” Craig sighed, “not going to lie...his taste sucks,” Craig said before taking another sip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why keep it? Let alone drink it?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig shrugged, “hey, it’s free alcohol. It may have come from that asshole, but I ain’t going to throw away free alcohol...even if it is shitty,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you even kept it for that reason, especially since you pretty much threw away all the other stuff he gave you,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig sighed as he stared at the ground, “I don’t know...a part of me thinks I should just throw this crap away and be done with him for good...but...another part of me...a small part of me...I think they still hope that he’ll come back,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Craig…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Ugh...I still don’t get it. We’ve spent five years together, we were a team...and then...the moment we’ve finally reached the peak of our work...he...he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He’d rather be a infamous thief than be with me,” Craig sighed, “does that just mean...he never liked me? That I’m not a likeable person?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...In a way...you kinda aren’t a likeable person, Craig, especially with that attitude and anger of yours,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gee...thanks,” Craig said as he rolled his eyes and took another sip from his flask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...But...I think Michael is missing out on who the Feldspar who is more...genuine, kind, a bit caring, passionate, and is surprisingly cute,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig stared at him, surprised. “Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek blushed, “maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe because...after being with you for these past few days...I’ve come to learn that Feldspar...no...Craig...isn’t as bad as he seems. I’ve learned that you are quite a good guy deep down, and even if you are a thief...you still think of others,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I don’t see it,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? You risked your life to save your horse, that’s very kind of you,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well yeah...she’s a good horse,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “and you went out of your way to save me from a few monsters. You even saved me from that lake monster earlier,” Tweek smiled, “face it...you’re a good person, Craig.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig fell silent as he stared at the flask, but his heart was fluttering as Tweek spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Craig...I don’t think you make a great thief, but I do think you make a great hero...and a good person,” Tweek said, “and if that asshole ex of yours can’t see that...well...he’s missing out on how truly amazing Feldspar really is,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Craig stared at the flask, feeling his chest getting warm. He suddenly stood up, walked over to the entrance of the cave, and poured the rest of the alcohol out. Craig then turned back to stare at Tweek, his cheeks red, and his eyes staring into Tweek’s. “I think...Feldspar is done drinking,” Craig said, “and...I would like to be called Craig from now on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “I think Craig...is a better person that Feldspar,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled and walked over to sit next to the barbarian. Tweek stared at the thief, feeling his heart pounding, and Craig, he couldn’t look the barbarian in the eye. He suddenly felt too embarrassed and wasn’t sure what to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey...Tweek?” Craig muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” Tweek asked as he stared at the thief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...” Craig blushed as he looked at the barbarian, their eyes staring into each other, “you think...maybe...you can actually show me how to run a farm after this is done and over with? I’ve never owned a farm before, and I don’t want to mess anything up,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled as he leaned a bit closer, “I would love to. Barbarians are great with agriculture,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Craig smiled, “so...what else are barbarians great at?” Craig said playfully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment their faces were closed and their eyes were staring at each other, their faces went red and the beating of their hearts became so loud, they couldn’t hear anything but the faint breathing of the other. Tweek couldn’t help but stare at Craig’s lips, wondering what they felt like.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though the two weren’t sure if it was the alcohol making them do this, or something else, but Tweek suddenly leaned forward, placing his lips against the thief. Craig didn’t move away, but instead, kissed him back, putting his hands on Tweek’s cheeks and Tweek’s hand placed over Craig’s. Tweek gently pushed Craig until the thief was laying down and Tweek laying on top of them, not once breaking the kiss. When Tweek pulled away, both of their faces were red and they were breathing hard, and even if it was dark in the cave, Craig, looking up at Tweek, he couldn’t help but think the barbarian was quite beautiful under the moonlight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Hey...um…” Craig blushed harder as his heart skipped a beat, “...do you..maybe...want to make this partnership...more permanent?” Craig asked. Tweek stared at the thief before he smiled. He leaned forward, giving his answer through the kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They spent the night, comforted and happy in each other’s arms.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>At long last, the two had reached the elf kingdom. They noticed all the elf people walking around, minding their business, unaware of two humans planning on stealing their leader’s precious medallion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay...we’re here...so how do we do this?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I got it,” Craig said, “the elf king probably has heard about me, and probably heard about how a lot of kingdoms want me dead,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...so?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I’m sure the elf king would make sure that if a thief like me is around, they would want me captured,” Craig said. “So what I’m thinking is you bring me to the elf king, once I’m close, I snatch the medallion from his neck, we make an escape, and we have our medallion,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“One flaw, I’m not an elf,” Tweek said, “the king knows that I’m one of Cartman’s men, and I’m sure he’ll suspect as to why I’m bringing you to him,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“True...but I’m pretty sure the elf king knows that fat ass is a dick,” Craig said, “so I’m sure he’ll believe you if you come up with some sort of excuse,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...What if something goes wrong?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It won’t,” Craig then leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Tweek’s forehead, causing the barbarian to blush. “Just stay calm, and follow the plan,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Okay...but please be careful,” Tweek said, “the elf king might be more reasonable...but he does have a temper.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled, “you do know who you’re talking to, right?” Craig grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled and the two immediately headed into the elf kingdom, ready to steal the medallion. After tying Craig’s hands behind his back to appear he was captured, Tweek then took Craig towards the castle, where a few elves were surprised to see the two humans. Eventually, Tweek and Craig were met with the elf king’s ranger, Stan Marshwalker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Halt, what are you doing here, human?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek cleared his throat as he aggressively pushed Craig forward, making look as if he was disgusted with the thief, “I came here to report  to your king that I have captured the great thief, Feldspar,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan’s eyes widened and he quickly guided the two to see the elf king. Once they were led to the throne room of the king, the elf king sat at his throne, amazed to see the two, and became even more shocked as Stan told him their reason for being there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The elf king, Kyle, looked at his ranger before he cleared his throat and stood up. He walked over towards the barbarian, showing no hostility or the like. “Tweek Tweak...I am honored to see you again, especially after the many wars we elves and humans have taken part in and helped each other with. By the way, I thank you for the battle with the gnomes, many of the children find you to be their hero,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “yeah...those bastards sure liked stealing children’s underpants for some reason,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kyle then turned towards the thief, “as for you...I’ve heard many tales of a notorious thief who is like no other. Swift, like his blade, hides in the shadows, and is known for taking on fifty men at once,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...more or less,” Craig shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yes…” Kyle then turned his attention back to Tweek, “I’m honored that you’d come to me with this notorious thief so he can receive his punishment...but...why me? Aren’t you on Cartman’s side? You could have easily turned him to that tub of lard,” Kyle said, immediately dropping his mannerism when mentioning Cartman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes...well...as you know, I’ve become king of my own land, and have been in many...many...many arguments with the wizard,” Tweek sighed, “and honestly...I’m quite tired of his schemes and abuse...and I thought I’d get my revenge by turning the famous thief to Cartman’s enemy,” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle seemed surprised before he had a smile on his face, “serves that fucking asshole right,” Kyle said, “even after humans and elves have declared peace, that fucking tub of lard can’t seem to realize that and let his pettiness go,” Kyle sighed, “what’s worse, he blames me that we had to get rid of the stick of truth when really it was the only way to stop anymore war and destruction.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes...I know...I was there,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Right,” Kyle cleared his throat, “well...thank you Tweek for bringing me Feldspar. I’ll be sure to reward you and have this thief punished,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stan, please take him to the dungeon,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, my liege,” Stan bowed and walked over to take Craig from Tweek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the king, ranger, and Craig started leaving, Tweek immediately followed, wanting to make sure he was as close to Craig as possible, “so...what do you plan to do with the thief?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well considering he has never stolen from my people, I might just imprisoned him for a long time, or I might just send him to the kingdom he pissed off the most,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think you want to do either, elf boy,” Craig smirked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why’s that?” Kyle asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before any of them knew it, Craig kicked Stan in the leg and took out his hidden dagger from his sleeve to cut off his ropes, he then grabbed the medallion from Kyle’s neck, and pulled it over his head. Craig then grabbed Tweek, and the two began running for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry for this, Kyle! But this is all Cartman’s idea! I’m just trying to save my people!” Tweek exclaimed, hoping the apology will direct Kyle’s anger towards the wizard and not him. God knows he can’t handle the elves declaring war with the barbarians.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-stop! Stop them!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two kept running, even as many guards appeared and tried to stop them. Craig and Tweek both forced their way through the guards, fighting, punching, and kicking them, and managed to escape the throne room and were on their way outside. Once the two were out of the castle, they quickly rushed towards their horses and started riding out of there, the elf guards close behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha ha! Sorry everyone, but you should be honored today! After all, you got robbed by the great and only Feldspar! Farewell, and I bid you adieu!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really have to do that everytime you stole from someone?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No...but it’s fun,” Craig smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled and the two quickly rode off, losing the guards immediately as they headed straight for the forests. They kept going, relieved that they had accomplished their mission, and Tweek was even more happy that everything went well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We got the medallion! Now we just need to give this to Cartman and my people are saved!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha ha, and I’ll be getting my farm and prove to that fucking bastard that I will be doing fine without him...especially since I have you now,” Craig smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek looked at him before grinning, “yeah...you and me,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig grinned and held up the medallion, “still...not sure why that elf king is so desperate in wanting this thing around him all the time. It doesn’t look all that valuable...and it’s quite ugly too,” Craig said. “Even if it did belong to his mother, I would be happy if someone stole this garbage from me,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it doesn’t matter why the high elf priest is so protective of that medallion, we stole it, and that’s the end of that. Let’s just hope we don’t get into any more trouble other than the occasional monsters on our trip back to the wizard king,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, after this whole trip, I’m sure we can beat any monster we come face-to-face with,” Craig grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as the two continued to ride out of the forest, an arrow suddenly came out of nowhere and hit Craig in the shoulder. Craig yelped in pain and fell off his horse, clutching his arm as he began to bleed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek exclaimed as he jumped off his horse and rushed towards Craig’s side. He lifted Craig’s head up and stared at the arrow in Craig’s shoulder. “Christ! I know Kyle is pissed that we stole his medallion, but I didn’t think he'd actually shoot us! How did they even catch up to us so fast!?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nnngg…” Craig groaned as he stared at the arrow, but his eyes widened as he recognizes the arrow, “this...arrow...it’s not from the elves,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Fuck,” Craig cursed as he looked up. Soon, someone jumped down from the trees they were hiding in and stood in front of the two. They pulled off their hood and stared at Craig, giving him a smile. “God fucking damn it. Of course you’d be here,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey there, Craig. Been awhile.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing here, Michael?” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“M-Michael?” Tweek’s eyes widened as he stared at the man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, already revealing who I am to people, Craig? I know I left you in the middle of the night, but you don’t have to be that petty about it,” Michael sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You stole half of my shit and shot me you asshole!” Craig exclaimed, “hell! You just shot me again!” Craig shouted as he tried to get up, but soon fell back because of the pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...I was hoping to aim for your heart,” Michael smirked. He then took a step forward, but Tweek quickly stood in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you fucking dare get anywhere close to him,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Who are you? Some sort of pervert that goes around the forest with body paint and doesn’t have the decency to wear a shirt?” Michael asked, glaring at Tweek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Craig’s new partner, and I will not let you get anywhere near him and hurt him again, you bastard,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch, look...I don’t care who you are. Right now...all I’m after is him,” Michael said, pointing to Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nngg..you’ve been searching for me?” Craig asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, I realized that...I can’t do this without you, love. I made a huge mistake in leaving you, and I was hoping you’d take me back,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Are you fucking joking right now?” Craig frowned, already seeing the lie, “you just shot me, remember?” Craig huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s your real motive here?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael stared at the two before sighing, “darn...I was really hoping you’d still have some sort of feeling for me and would just come with me more willingly,” Michael sighed as he stood up straight, he pulled back his hair, a bit annoyed. “Alright, the truth is...doing this whole thief thing solo is harder than it seems. Sure, there’s a lot of money on me with a lot of kingdoms after me, but...it seems...people have started noticing how I’ve been using your tactics. Now, people aren’t even calling me by the name I’ve given myself. They’ve just been calling me the copycat Feldspar. It’s infuriating. Feldspar this, Feldspar that. Everyone can’t help but compare me to you,” Michael sighed, “...which is why...I thought...if I turn you in...not only will I get the reward money, but soon...people will forget about you and will now think I’m the greatest thief in the lands. Goodbye Feldspar, hello Shadowman,” Michael grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Wow...I thought you were self-centered, but he’s just as bad...maybe worse,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? Told you he was a no good bastard,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael frowned, “enough. Why don’t you move before you get hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t, this is a barbarian you’re talking to,” Craig said, “and he’s the strongest barbarian at that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek glared at Michael and took out his dagger, ready to strike him. But Michael simply took a step back, stared at the dagger in the barbarian’s hand, and then smiled. Before Tweek could ask him why he was smiling, Michael suddenly kicked the dagger out of Tweek’s hand, grabbed some dirt and threw it in Tweek’s face, and landed a kick in Tweek’s stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gah!” Tweek fell back, blinded from the dirt and being kicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek!” Craig tried to help Tweek, but Michael suddenly pushed Craig back with his foot. “Fuck!” Craig cursed as he tried to get up, but Michael quickly grabbed the arrow in Craig’s shoulder, and pulled it, twisting it, and torturing Craig with it. “A-ah!” Craig yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek was able to see a tiny bit and tried to go over to Craig, but Michael pulled out his crossbow and shot Tweek in the leg, causing the barbarian to fall to the ground. “A-ah!” Tweek began to bleed in his leg, and wasn’t able to move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great, now that you’re down, I shall be taking Feldspar to the only kingdom that is wanting him for the highest price,” Michael said as he came to pick up Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Craig exclaimed as he swung his arms around. While doing so, Michael couldn’t help but notice the medallion laying next to Craig.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s this?” Michael picked up the medallion, “my...what a hideous thing...but probably worth a lot in the market. I’ll be taking this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Give that back!” Tweek exclaimed as he tried to crawl towards Michael, but Michael swiftly kicked Tweek in the face, stopping him from moving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tweek!” Craig yelled out, “you bastard! Don’t you fucking dare hurt him!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My, Craig...it’s only been what...over two weeks since we broke up? You’ve already found someone else to replace me? Let me guess...you’re going to tell me that he’s good in bed, better than me, right?” Michael chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You….I’m going to fucking kill you!” Craig shouted. Craig was about to take out his dagger, but Michael was quick and managed to knock Craig out with a kick in the head. Craig fell to the ground, slightly bleeding. Michael took this opportunity to pick Craig up and started to leave with him and the medallion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Put him down!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should be thanking me, barbarian boy. Craig here is nothing but a nuisance and a loser. All he cares about himself and will only chatter away in your ear about how great he is. Believe me...you don’t need this asshole in your life, hell...I’m glad I broke things off with him before he wants to settle down with me,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re fucking wrong! Craig is a better man than you’ll ever be! If anyone is a self-centered bastard here, it’s you!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Wow...you must really like him, don’t you? Well...sad to say, but once I turn him in, he’ll be executed the same day. So better forget him, you won’t be seeing him much longer,” Michael said. Soon, the two could hear the sounds of yelling and horses running towards their direction. Michael grinned as he turned towards the barbarian, “seems you and Craig already got into trouble. Better start leaving then,” Michael said as he began running with Craig in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Come back! Craig!” Tweek shouted. He tried to get up and catch up to them, but he soon fell back because of the arrow in his leg. Soon after, the elves caught up to him and quickly detained him from leaving. “No! Wait! Please! Craig is in danger! Please! We need to save him!” Tweek shouted. He struggled against the elves’ grip, and tried to fight back, but soon, an angry voice silenced everyone and Tweek stopped struggling as he looked back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle walked towards the barbarian, looking ready to murder anyone who pissed him off even more. “Tweek...explain to me why you stole my medallion right now before I kill you,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....It was Cartman’s idea,” Tweek revealed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Cartman!” Kyle shouted at the top of his lungs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek couldn’t do anything, not with the arrow in his leg, and the elves around him. Tweek was helpless as Craig was being taken away and was heading towards his death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig…” Tweek felt tears in his eyes as he felt weak at that moment.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“I cannot believe you did this! You have to be the most self-centered, idiotic, bastard I have ever met! If I wasn’t thinking for my people’s happiness, I would immediately start another war with you,” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek, Kyle, Stan, and a few of the elf guards have come back to Cartman’s castle, where they were all arguing over the medallion and the stupidity of Cartman’s plan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who fucking cares? It’s a stupid medallion,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stupid medallion!? My mother gave me that medallion, fat ass!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? Well your mom is a fat bitch,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You son of a bitch! Take back what you said about my mom before I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me!” Tweek shouted, interrupting the two. After Tweek got his leg healed, he has been trying to tell the two about Craig and where the medallion was. “Look...I don’t care how angry you two are or how fucking stupid Cartman was for coming up with this plan because he was being petty for no good reason,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But right now...all I know is that Craig’s ex partner has the medallion and Craig, so if you want the medallion, then we need to find out where Michael is and where he’s taking Craig!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Again...Craig is Feldspar’s real name and Michael is Feldspar’s ex-boyfriend and partner,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek was this close to choking the wizard king, “yes! For the love of god, yes! I’ve said it like three times! Get it through your thick head you motherfucking piece of shit!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman was surprised by being shouted by the barbarian, “w-why I never! I’ll have you know that I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t give two shits what you have to say! You made me go on this stupid adventure because you wanted to get back at Kyle and threatned to destroy my land because of your stupid rivalry with him! I managed to get the medallion, only to have Craig kidnapped, and me getting shot in the fucking leg, and now...I am done listening to you and your stupid ideas because all of it is stupid and doesn’t need to happen! For fuck sake! Just shut up and deal with your rivalry with Kyle without involving me and my land, or anyone! It’s so fucking stupid!” Tweek shouted at the top of his lungs. He felt like he was going to rip his hair any minute now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....I’m kinda with Tweek on this. I’m getting sick and tired of your bullshit, Cartman,” princess Kenny said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You too, princess Kenny!?” Cartman exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...even I’m getting tired of hearing you complain about Cartman, my liege,” Stan said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Well he started it!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you started it first!” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were the one who started it when you stole the stick!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You stole it first,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, we took it from the crumbling temple where the stick originated. We knew it would be safe with us because we knew everything about the stick’s magic, and it was my people that were protecting it first when the temple was still standing. It was you who decided to steal it and use it for the benefits of humanity,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it was you who-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t care!” Everyone exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, right now...Craig is in danger and will be executed, and your medallions will be sold by Michael. If you want your medallion, we need to find where Craig is,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no no no! That medallion cannot be sold nor be in the wrong hands,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch, what’s so special about an ugly medallion?” Cartman asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh….I don’t know...maybe the fact that the medallion is the only thing that is protecting everyone from a fierce dragon that wants nothing more than to destroy all of life?” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Say what?” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle sighed, “I’ve told you this, I’ve told you about the medallion when we had a meeting with the peace agreement. I told you about how this medallion has been passed down in my family for generations, and how it was the key to keeping a dangerous and evil dragon from destroying our land. The medallion has been keeping the dragon’s soul inside, making the dragon sleep for generations, but if the medallion was ever in the wrong hands, especially in the hands of greedy humans who only cares for themselves, the dragon’s soul will be released, and the dragon will be awake, destroying homes and killing lives until the medallion is returned to the rightful hands!” Kyle explained. “I’ve told you all of this twice, Cartman!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, but your explanation is so long I doze off,” Cartman sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cartman!” Everyone yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is serious! If we don’t get that medallion from that Shadowman thief...all as we know it will be gone,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well goodness...how come you elves had the medallion to begin with?” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s because elves and that dragon have been enemies for years. We elves have been the first to try and stop the dragon, and had the magic and knowledge to stop it. Hell...you should be thanking my kind for saving you humans, especially old wizards like you,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck you, I’m sure humans could have thought of something to stop that dragon if you elves weren’t such show offs,” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...And this is why the medallion was in my care since you are a greedy fuck,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Enough!” Tweek shouted, “right now, we need to find that medallion and Craig before a dragon wakes up and destroys all of us. Now...which kingdom is wanting to have Craig the most?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm….what about the gnomes? I’ve heard they were very angry when Feldspar came and taunted them,” Stan suggested.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, even with that, Feldspar never stole from them since all they have of value were underpants,” Kyle said, “I’m sure the kidnapper wouldn't sell Craig for underpants.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh! Think harder! Which kingdom would pay a large amount of gold just to have Feldspar turned in!?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....What about that kingdom up north? I heard they were able to capture Feldspar for a short while and were even about to hang him, but Feldspar made a fool out of the king and managed to escape when his partner somehow came out of nowhere and saved him. It all happened a few weeks ago. Heard the king got so pissed that he’d pay any amount of money just to have Feldspar captured and returned to his kingdom” Cartman suggested.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s it! We need to get to that kingdom and save Craig!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And save everyone from a pissed off and hungry dragon,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That too!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But how? It already took us a few days to get here, and that Michael guy must have already reached the kingdom by now! We’ll never get there on time before they start the execution!” Stan said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh hamburgers, what do we do!?” Butters exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Well...we do have two very powerful kings who have enough magical energy to take us all to the kingdom in no time,” princess Kenny said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What!? I ain’t combining my magic with his! I don’t want his elf germs anywhere near me,” Cartman huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Either we do this or everyone dies, including you,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to god, Cartman, if you don’t do the spell, I and the barbarians will officially declare war on you and cut off your head!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Okay! Fine!” Cartman huffed, “but this is a one time thing,” Cartman said as he took out his staff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Kyle and Cartman soon combined their magical energy that was strong enough to teleport everyone that was in the room to the kingdom of the north. Thinking of their destination, everyone felt their bodies tingling before they soon found themselves in a white space, moving rapidly. Everyone screamed as the white space nearly burned their eyes, forcing them to close their eyes for protection. Soon, the tingling faded, and all of them had finally reached the kingdom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re here,” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh wow! That was sure strange! My body was tingling and my eyes nearly burned off!” Butters exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that spell is quite powerful, which is why you need two magical beings to activate it. You see, there’s a process that-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No time! We need to find Craig, and save the town before the dragon wakes up!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, let’s go!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone rushed inside the town and started looking for Craig, the kidnapper, and the medallion. As Tweek searched around, he noticed a large crowd gathering around something. Knowing something was going on, Tweek rushed over to see what the crowd had gathered for, only to find Craig, tied up, and a noose around his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig!” Tweek’s eyes widened as he saw Craig, fading in and out of consciousness, his face was bruised and beaten. The king of the kingdom stood next to Craig, and standing on the other side of the king was Michael, his hood down, and smiling at the crowd as everyone started calling him their hero.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My people, once again we have detained the great Feldspar, and he is once again sentenced to death. None of this could have happened if it weren’t for our hero...your name?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael! Michael! Michael!” The crowd cheered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now...thanks to our last attempt at offing this horrible thief, we double checked to make sure Feldspar here has no way of escaping, has no weapons in his sleeves, and is definitely going to die right here and now,” the king then snapped his fingers and the executioner went over to grab the lever and was ready to pull it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Tweek quickly pushed past the crowd and rushed towards the stage. He quickly got on just as the executioner pulled the lever, but Tweek quickly grabbed Craig before he fell through the trap door, and used his knife to cut the rope around Craig’s neck. “You are not killing him!” Tweek shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You,” Michael glared at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is the meaning of this!? How dare you interrupt this execution!?” The king exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, but I will not let you kill him!” Tweek shouted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon, the others arrived and quickly pushed themselves past the crowd. Kyle looked around until his eyes laid on Michael, who was wearing the medallion around his own neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You, return that medallion, now!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael took a step back, clinging to the medallion, soon the king and the crowd got in between the group, looking very pissed that the execution of Feldspar was interrupted by them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, you think just because you are a magical king you think you can come here and interrupt us from killing this thief!?” The king barked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle sighed, “I do not have time for this,” Kyle used his staff and made the king float, he then tossed the king into the crowd, and proceeded to go after Michael, “I said, give me back that medallion! You have no idea how dangerous that thing is!” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Michael held out the medallion, “you want it? Come and get it, elf boy,” Michael started running.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-stop him!” Kyle exclaimed. He tried to chase after him, but the king suddenly appeared and knocked him out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How dare you treat me like that! I don’t care if you’re a powerful king, I will have your head!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi! If anyone is going to have that stupid high elf priest’s head, it’s me!” Cartman used his staff to grab the king and flung him somewhere else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah!” The king flew past the crowd and ended up hitting a three before falling to the ground, unconscious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Wow...uh...thanks, Cartman,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Whatever, the only person that gets to mess with you is me,” Cartman said, “now...let’s show these assholes how magic is done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle nodded and the two began to fight against the crowd, along with the others. As everyone was fighting, Tweek quickly pulled Craig away from the crowd to inspect his wounds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, are you okay?” Tweek asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...just a bit dizzy,” Craig said as he wiped the blood from his lips, “but I’ll live.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Craig, we need to get that medallion,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Why? That thing is nothing but a ugly piece of jewelry,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If we don’t get it, a dragon is going to come out of it and kill us all,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Okay...you may need to explain this to me in detail later since I’ve lost a lot of blood today, but...sure...yeah...let’s get that medallion.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So while everyone was busy fighting against the crowd, Craig and Tweek started searching around for Michael. The two ended up looking up, Craig knowing full well that Michael would try to escape up high.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....There he is!” Craig exclaimed as he saw Michael jumping from roof to roof.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit! How are we going to catch up to him!?” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Throw me,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Throw me! Try to throw me to the next room he’s about to jump!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you insane!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you can do this! You’re the strongest barbarian here,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean I have a great aim! I don’t want to hurt you, and I especially don’t want to leave you alone with him!” Tweek exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Craig placed a hand on Tweek’s cheek, “if I can trust you, then you need to trust me,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....” Tweek sighed as he quickly picked Craig up, “be sure to land on your feet, Craig.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know who you’re talking to? I’m Feldspar, and Feldspar always lands on his-” Tweek immediately flung him to the roof. “Ruuuuuuddde!” Craig yelled as he was sent flying in the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Michael was about to jump to the next roof, Craig managed to tackle him down. The two fell off of the roof and landed on the ground, both groaning in pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Michael, give me the fucking medallion before you kill us all!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why should I? I deserve to be rich, I deserve to be recognized, I deserve to be number one for once!” Michael exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you talking about?” Craig asked, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you fucking get it? I’m tired of playing second fiddle to you,” Michael said. “It’s always Feldspar this and that, and even when people know you have a partner, they don’t even bother to talk about me! Only about you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Is that what this entire thing has been about? That you aren’t getting any fucking attention from the people we’re stealing from!? Isn’t the point of stealing from people is so we don’t get too much attention to ourselves?” Craig huffed, “it’s not my fault that I was doing most of the work while you came up with the plans and escape routes, and not only that, but you’re the one who decided to hide your face all the time! Maybe people will recognize you if you just took off the hood and stop looking like a cringy douchebag,” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck you!” Michael shouted, “you of all people love the attention from everyone! So what makes you think you’re better than me!?” Michael exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek and the other eventually caught up to the two. Tweek looked at Craig, wondering what he was going to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Yeah...you’re right...I did love the attention I was getting, I loved it since you never gave me enough attention or even showed that you cared...but now...I know that getting this type of attention isn’t what I want...nor did I want your attention and approval either. I realized...the only people I want to notice me and remember me...are people who actually care about me. Not angry mobs, not kings who want me dead, not backstabbers, not rival thieves...and especially not you,” Craig said, “I’m done being Feldspar the great thief. Right now...I’m going to be Craig Tucker...the guy who’s going to kick your ass if you don’t return that medallion that somehow has a dragon inside!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dragon? Are you serious right now?” Michael looked at Craig as if he was crazy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not lying! There is a dragon in that medallion, and if you don’t return it to me, we’re all going to die!” Kyle exclaimed. He looked up and saw the sky was already getting dark, black clouds hovering over them. He knew that the dragon was going to wake up soon and destroy everyone, and there would be no way to stop it if they didn't get the medallion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think I’m an idiot? You really think such an ugly piece of jewelry is going to bring out a dragon?” Michael lifted the medallion, looking ready to smash it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing!?” Kyle exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If there is a dragon, let’s see it come out then,” Michael said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you insane!? You’re going to kill us you fuck!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who fucking cares...I’m the Shadowman, and I can escape from anything, so if a dragon does come out...I’ll be laughing when I see it burn your entire body to a crisp, along with that barbarian boyfriend of yours,” Michael grinned. He was about to destroy the medallion, but Craig quickly ran towards him, grabbed the medallion, and wrestled with it. “Let go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You let go!” Craig shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to god, Craig! If you don’t let go, I will-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noticing Michael’s crossbow on the ground, which must have fallen when the two fell, Tweek quickly grabbed the crossbow and arrows and aimed it at Michael, shooting him in the leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow!” Michael fell to the ground, bleeding from his leg. “You...you fucking shot me!” Michael shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig took this time to grab the medallion from Michael’s hand and quickly returned it to the high elf priest. Craig then takes the crossbow and show Michael in the arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow!” Michael screamed in pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That...was for shooting me in the arm,” Craig said, he then aimed for the shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Motherfucker!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was for shooting me in the shoulder and beating the shit out of me and Tweek.” Craig then aimed once more, aiming at the crotch area. “This is for being a total dick.” Craig fired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah!” Michael screamed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow...okay, that’s enough,” Tweek said as he took the crossbow from Craig’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s lucky I ran out of arrows, otherwise I’d shoot him in the fucking head,” Craig said, watching as Michael fell to the ground, crying in pain, and bleeding badly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek looked at Craig before smiling at him, “well done, hero,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled, “couldn’t have done it without you, partner,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright alright, enough with the romantic crap, now that the medallion is returned, we don’t have to worry about a dragon, right?” Cartman asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle looked up at the sky, seeing the clouds clearing, he sighed as he held up the medallion, pleased to see that everything was going back to normal, “yes. Everything is returning to the way it is. We won’t have to worry about a fire breathing dragon, and we are all finally at peace,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahem,” the group turned around and saw the angry mob and the king, glaring at the group. The king walked over, very pissed at what had happened, “you...though I don’t know why you came here and interrupted our ceremony, I will let things go if you hand us Feldspar,” the king said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I’m sorry, as much as I would love to hand you back the thief...he has saved all of our lives, and by doing so, he deserves a pardon,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What!? You...you can’t do that!” The king exclaimed, “with what power do you have to demand such a thing!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um...maybe because I’m a magical elf that can easily turn your entire kingdom into insignificant bugs,” Kyle said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’m a magical wizard who is still pissed that you tried to fight with my elf!” Cartman said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your...elf?” Kyle looked at him, disgusted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not that way! You know what I mean!” Cartman exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gentlemen, I’m sure we can talk this through,” princess Kenny said as he stepped forward, “my liege...if you don’t stop going after Feldspar...we will declare war on you and your people...and considering it’ll be a combination of both the humans from the wizard king’s kingdom, and the elves from high elf priest’s kingdom...well...you and your small group of people will never stand a chance...especially when we have magic on our side,” princess Kenny. “So...what do you say? Man enough to just let the thief go?” Kenny said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Ugh...fine! But if he ever sets foot in my kingdom again, I won’t hesitate!” The king exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine by us,” princess Kenny said, “well Feldspar? Aren’t you glad that the king has pardoned you?” The princess asked. Everyone turned, but noticed that both Craig and Tweek were gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well gee...where did they go?” Butters asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....Where’s my crown!?” The king exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha ha ha ha!” The crowd turned their head and saw both the thief and the barbarian escaping in Michael’s carriage, Craig holding the king’s crown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My crown!” The king exploded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry your majesty, this shall officially be the last time I steal. I promise! But...since I’ll be retiring now...I might as well get some insurance money. I bet this thing will give me plenty of gold that will keep me happy for a long time!” Craig exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feldspar!” The king shouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Craig and Tweek chuckled as they turned back to the crowd, “farewell everyone! We bid you, adieu!” They both bowed and laughed as they left the kingdom together.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Craig Tucker, originally known for being Feldspar, was quietly cleaning the house of his new acquired farm. As he was sweeping away, he heard the squeaking sounds from the floor, he looked down and had a smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stripe number one, what are you doing out of your room? You know you and your brothers and sister can’t leave the room while I’m cleaning,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The little guinea pig looked at its master before squeaking at him. Craig smiled and gave the guinea pig a small kiss before carrying it back to the room that was filled with other guinea pigs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay in there, and no chewing on the furniture you guys. It was really hard finding cheap furniture you know,” Craig said before he closed the door. Craig chuckled and went back to sweeping the floors. Suddenly, Craig heard a knocking at the door. Craig walked over, opened the door, and smiled when he saw his favorite barbarian standing there. “Tweek, what brings you here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled as he came inside, holding something behind his back. When Tweek revealed it, it seemed to be a poster with Michael’s bruised and beaten up face, as well as a date of his execution. “Looks like Michael was caught...and will now be executed,” Tweek said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see,” Craig said, he continued to sweep the floors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled wider, “the town he stole from is very merciless to criminals like him...especially since you came and rob them years ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig stopped, “...my guess is...they found all of his hidden weapons, and are planning to kill him while he’s stripped of his clothes?” Craig smirked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep, after you escaped from them...they aren’t taking any chances. The bastard is going to die in the most humiliating way,” Tweek said, “want to go and check it out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah. When you’ve been part of an execution more than once, you tend to not see the fun of it anymore...even if the person dying this time isn’t me,” Craig said, “besides...I don’t want to see that bastard, I’ve finally moved on. So even if he’s going to be executed, I’d rather stay here on my beautiful farm,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beautiful huh?” Tweek said as he noticed a few holes here and there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m trying to save up enough money as I can in order to feed myself and my animals,” Craig chuckled, “so I can’t really get a lot of expensive wood or furniture right now, but once my farm starts getting recognition, I’ll be remodelling this place. I’m thinking...a bigger kitchen, a lovely dining room, an entertainment room...and a bigger room for the guinea pigs and myself,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Why do you need a bigger room, hm?” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled back, “because...I have a certain barbarian that tends to come over and spend the night with me occasionally, and I always feel bad when he has to sleep on my small bed in my small room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek chuckled, “I don’t mind how small it is, Craig...it’s actually quite cozy, especially when I’m with you,” Tweek said as he wrapped his arms around Craig’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss on Tweek’s forehead, “well barbarian boy...what do you think you want to do since you’re here?” Craig smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled as he hugged him tightly, “not sure...maybe I can help you clean, play with the guinea pigs...or...celebrate your new home and farm in that tiny bedroom of yours?” Tweek smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig blushed as he leaned forward to kiss the barbarian on the lips. “I think...I want to go with the third option.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek grinned and practically lifted Craig off the ground and carried him to the room. Craig chuckled as he looped his arms around his lover, feeling his heart beating fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Tweek,” Craig said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tweek smiled, “I love you, Craig.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Craig smiled as he hugged his lover, happy to finally hear someone say those words back to him after a long time of being on his own. Craig felt like he was the luckiest man in the world to have such an amazing boyfriend like Tweek. As for Tweek, he was happy to have his land and people safe, but even more happy that he now has someone to stand next to him as he leads his people to a happy life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The former thief and the barbarian leader both lived a happy and loving life together, for the rest of their days.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>The End.</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>